I used to know an ex rock ape who went through jobs quicker than osprey and one was at an undertakers. We agreed to meet up the pub to watch the rugby one Saturday and he screeched up late in a new black van. 1 pint turned into 5 as the game wore on when his boss rings and asks where the van and body is. We all think he’s kidding but he takes us out to the van and in the back is someone in a body bag he even offered us a look and says |”he won’t mind he’s not going anywhere”
My funeral plan since has been the Muslim express,no service picked up and burnt to a crisp before you can say 2 pints and a packet of pork scratching.