Funeral Assistance

Discussion in 'Charities and Welfare' started by NigG, Oct 19, 2009.

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  1. My old man passed away at the weekend and I've been told that the funeral will cost around £3k. Are their any charities or organisations that can assist.

    He was a in the army for over 22yrs and left as an RSM.

    Apologies if this has been covered, I've searched but can't find anything.
  2. Im sorry for your loss mate, what cap-badge was he?
  3. Negligent-Discharge

    Negligent-Discharge LE Book Reviewer

    Sorry to hear of your loss mate. It's never easy. Get on to the Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen's Families Association at They are feckin superb. Where are you based mate? If yer in Surrey I can get you in direct contact with Col. Allen. Let me know what happens.
  4. Go onto the SSAFA website and contact your local branch.

    I am on the committee up in Aberdeen and I know wh have helped people in similar situations from our local funds, but national funds are also available.

    Please do get in touch,

    Our thoughts are with you,

  5. Not too sure on what response you may have from them, or if there is a scheme in place to help, but certainly they would provide some support with a military style funeral (Flag on coffin and perhaps barers if needed) It is customary for someone to give a sort of last post ceremony at the funeral.

    This article may help with costs:

    You should also contact the British Legion:

    Whichever cap badge he was (i.e. Royal Signals, Light Infantry etc) will also have an association. They may be able to provide support and help, and would definately want some members of their organisation to go to the funeral as a mark of respect.

    I hope this helps.

    Sorry for your loss.
  6. Generally you should expect his estate to cover funeral expenses. Was he skint?
  7. oldbaldy

    oldbaldy LE Moderator Good Egg (charities)
    1. Battlefield Tours

    There are problems with assistance with funeral expenses.
    TRBL, as a general rule will not provide financial assistance.
    Most benevolent funds say they are there to look after the living not the dead, although it is looked at on a case by case basis.
    As others have said contact your local SSAFA and they will do what they can.

    Edit to add.

    If the estate does not have enough to cover the expenses & assistance is sought, it is the person responsible for the funeral, from what you seem to say that is you, that will be asking for financial assistance, not the deceased.
    I'm not exactly a bundle of fun for you at this time but I can do anything to assist get in contact.
  8. NigG

    Sorry for your loss. I buried my father back in Feb and found it a bit of a shocker - it is one of those 'rite of passage' things that life comes up with.

    Regarding funeral expenses, my bill was just under £3k for the undertaker's services, box, a GBFO bunch of flowers, a parish church funeral service and a church yard burial - so a fairly non-scrimping send off (but nothing you would describe as lavish) and you could knock £500 off that and still be OK.

    The undertakers sent the bill in to the solicitor that was doing the will/probate stuff and it was paid by the old man's estate after all that had been sorted out.

    It is not a bill that gets handed to you for immediate payment - cash on the nail, so to speak.

    I am not sure, but I believe a standard cremation service comes in a fair bit cheaper than that.

    As I say, you have my sympathies but I couldn't help thinking at the time that at least I got to bury my old man, there are too many army parents who are burying their kids just now.

    If you are skint and there is no estate then the other posters are correct in that it will be you looking for assistance, not your late father, but someone should come up with something and don't be shy about trying to tap up the DSS.
  9. Thank you all so much for your help.

    He was a hero to me and it's bit of a mind f*ck to be honest.

    Definately going to follow those leads up, thanks for all your help.
  10. Can I start by by saying that I am sorry for your loss. I also lost my father earlier this year.

    It was hard to come to terms with accepting that the giant of a man I remembered was no longer there as his health deteriorated, but that contrasted with seeing how happy he was to be tracked down by Tom, an old army buddy after over 40 years. After what could be described as an emotional phone call they couldn't wait for the next regimental reunion, and despite the weather messing with the plans they managed to get together - causing a lot of confusion with 3 Toms in the same room.

    To cut a long story a litttle shorter when we knew the time was coming Tom was straight back down and managed to visit my father in hospital on his last evening, and was a great support for the family in the following days, and spoke at the service. (I heard a good few tales of their days & nights in Germany in the 60s)

    I don't know your circumstances, but try not to take on everything yourself and try to share the load. There is quite a lot to organise and also deal with afterwards but people are around to help out, even if not with costs but sharing the work and even just a chat.

    I had a pretty bad 6 months losing a very close personal friend, my gran and father in a short period of time. One thing we found was that my mother was not keen on the sample orders of service from the undertakers so I made a couple of samples and we decided to use my copies. With the help of a couple of friends, one of whom had all the craft gear so were able to 'professionaly' 'book fold' and assemble them which gave it the personal touch plus the ability for us to help out, and the opportunity to make so many last minute changes which would have been missed if printed through the directors.

    For all the ink used it probably cost the same as getting it done for us but it was far more personal and allowed my mother to keep changing her mind or adding and remoing items.