Funeral Advice Please

Long story, short. I've lost my son unexpectedly and I can't afford the funeral. It's important for the sake of his 10 year old daughter that we have a basic service and some plaque or stone to mark his resting place. Even that is astonishingly expensive. He would have been 30 this month and was living independently as a single man, but he has no assets. I've got an appointment with the Job centre to discuss the Social Fund, but the RBL can't help because he wasn't a dependant.
Does anyone have any experience of a similar case or have any suggestions who I might approach for financial assistance? Thanks.
The DHSS can give you £1300 to cover burial costs if you're on income support or disability benefits. If you're ex army try SSAFA too.
Very sorry for your loss.

CAnnot suggest any other sources of funding, but I suggest you talk to your local vicar as they are less constrained by centralised rules and could well come up with a suitable service. If you have a link to a church with an active graveyard, they might also provide a temporary grave marker (which usually last a few years) and you could replace it with a permanent memorial when circumstances permit.
Please accept my condolences. If the RBL 'can't' help I would make sure it is 'can't' and not 'won't'. I know an ex crab that drifted into drugs - they paid the deposit for his flat and first months rent. SSAFA will apply on your behalf. I rang them for advice before posting here. They did say that the application is unlikely to be accepted however they felt it was worth a try also they have in the past negotiated with Funeral Directors and arranged interest free payment plans for as little as £5 per week.


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Sorry to hear about your son, Tastytoggle. Thoughts and prayers are with you and your granddaughter.

You didn't say what his profession was. There are lots of organisations who support for example medical staff, gardeners, leather workers, etc., and who might contribute. SSAFA or RBL are experienced in tapping into those for you.
On a practical point I beleive you have to wait six months before you can have a headstone memorial to allow the earth to settle - obviously it still needs funding but would that give you a bit of breathing space to at least put one problem on the back burner and concentrate on the buriel - during which obviously you can explore funding options.

Good luck and hope all turns out for you.
That's true. Hadn't thought of that. Thanks to eveyone for your support. It all helps.
We had a similar situation within our family. Costs were kept to a minimum by having a cremation then having a service to bury the ashes, a plaque was put where the ashes were buried and a tree planted instead of a headstone. Its not what I would have wanted but it was the wishes of the deceased to keep costs to a minimum.

Condolences and I hope it gets sorted.
Let us know how you get on tasty - one of the few threads where you care what happens.
Very grateful for that. There isn't much gets on top of me, but I'm feeling rather defeated and extremely cynical just now. I suspect my Grand Daughter is going to be very disappointed and there's nothing I can do to prevent it. It's a double whammy unfortunately.
Sorry for your loss.

If your granddaughter is only ten will she really notice the money spent on the funeral? What would she reasonably have to compare it with? Could you not involve her by getting her to choose some flowers to go on the coffin? I know they would be expensive but they would be a relatively cheap way of involving her.

Could you not do something afterwards that is very much centred on her but present it as part of the funeral arrangements?

To be honest, I think most 10 year-olds would be very pleased to go out for a pizza dinner, for example, and it is much cheaper to do something like that which is focussed on her needs than it is to make a bigger production of a funeral which is already very expensive.
It's not a posh funeral, but to be able to visit a grave with a simple headstone, that she wants. Take warning. A little dignity in death comes very expensive.

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