Fry up or Breakfast Cereal?

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by spike7451, May 7, 2006.

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  1. Cereal

    0 vote(s)
  2. Fry Up

    0 vote(s)
  3. Tab's & Coffee

    0 vote(s)
  1. spike7451

    spike7451 RIP

    Got up this morning after having a few beers last night (intended to get hammered as my Uncle Died Friday but could'nt! Was'nt in the mood :? ) so I got the 'ol frying pan out & done a full Ulster. Miss spike,being a veggie,tucked into her meausli birdseed & commented,again.on the health affects of the aforesaid Ulster Fry.
    Women! Would'nt know a healthy breakfast if it bit them!! :lol:

    (Choice 3 SHOULD'VE read "Tabs & Coffee"!)
  2. I know I shouldn’t but in the morning, after my sh1t shave and shampoo, its downstairs for a strong cup of coffee and a smoke.

    Then off to work contemplating what bullshit, I have to put up with, Mondays being the worst.

    Fooking hell, what I would do without my Coffee and Tab’s in the morning. They keep me sane.
  3. Spike, any chance you could tell me what the difference is between an Ulster fry, and your bog standard English breakfast?
  4. Soda Bread? Like trying to digest a brick but great for the hangover!

  5. The Ulster is cooked on the burning hulk of an upturned Vauxhall Cavalier.

    As a matter of course, it's cereal for me- normally I can't handle too much to eat in the morning. When hungover however, it's a completely different kettle of fish- A full-on cholestorol-fest with toast and a pint of orange juice (or Gatorade if it's a 5 Star, "call the undertaker" monster) consumed with gusto no more than 5 good paces from Trap One.
  6. I like a tab as soon as my eyes open in the mornings before even getting out of bed.

    Great stuff, don't think i'd be able to get up without one
  7. Can I take this opportunity to say a big thanks to all the blokes who turn up for PT in the mornings after the daft-o-clock-in-the-morning coffee/fag combo ... your honking breath is just the thing to keep me motivated on those long group runs :roll:

    I'm an egg banjo/pint of tea man myself, but thanks again to all you fooking honking fez barstewards, can't wait to see you in the morning ... :lol:
  8. Coffee/tab, slap off Mrs76mill for not making her tea, offer remnants of last nights pint of squash, get another slap, return with gusto, lose badly so go go (yeah baby no edit) downstairs to make tea while she has a vodka fuelled dump, make cup of tea with 1 canderel ,get another whack cos "My first cup of tea has to be full fat ie I want SUGAR, you know the white powdery stuff".
    Foolishly remind Mrs76mill that the mortgage and her vodka is paid for by me nicking people with white powdery stuff. Big sulk on but I get over it as we've run out of tabs. I don't mind dog ends but she draws the line at this and drives to replen. In the meantime i have a mega dump, rummage through the undies drawer, and she comes back with brekky kit,tabs and that air of relief which means she hasn't been pulled for DD ish, I'm loading the washing machine.

    With vom.

    BTW she's Irish.

    Yours painfully ,

  9. Sounds like an episode of Shameless. :wink:
  10. Cereal (witabix/shredded wheat) on week days, then fry ups on the weekend, about midday-ish, dont do early mornings on the weekend if i'm not being paid.
  11. For a hangover there is nothing like up at 0530, hour of beasting PT - possibly to vomiting stage, attach mouth to a hose pipe for water intake and then fry up. I've never had a hangover survive that treatment.

    However, that requires someone shouting at me or me having to do it. My technique at home is to lie in my bed with my eyes shut and not moving. I'd weigh up the pros and cons of going for more water if thinking didn't hurt so much. Throwing up is rare, opening my eyes or moving my head even rarer. I won't eat anything, I mean anything, for two days. I'll drink water when I can move. It takes me two days to get rid of a hangover from a heavy night, three days for a hangover from a really heavy night. I'm getting old.

    When not hungover I'm a fruit and fibre with skimmed milk man, I mainly eat it for the raisons...
  12. Lucky charms, until they stopped making them. Now it's toast and a black coffee (no sugar).

    Hungover goes something vaguely like thus: Wake up around 0600 with my tongue stuck to my face - reach down and grab the can of coke I kept conveniently situated for this occasion. Down the coke followed by a pint of water then sleep again. Wake up around 1100 crawl down the stairs inches away from vomiting, and scoff a large bowl of scrambled eggs, fresh orange juice and ibuprofen. Have a little siesta on the sofa and voila - ready to do it all again.
  13. Having read the above posts a pattern seems to be emerging.

    Why is it that after a night on the pop we all seem to wake up at ohdaft o'clock in the morning?

    If I go out on the p!ss then I am normally wide awake at 05:30 - 06:00. Don't want to be awake but can't go back to sleep until I have been to the bog and eaten/drunk something by which time I am functioning semi-coherently and don't feel the need to go back to bed.

    Of course this all catches up with me at about 2 in the afternoon when a mega siesta is required.

    Now is this just brainwashing and the body making sure I am ready for first parade or just the fact that I need to void all the shite I ate/drunk the night before?
  14. You know there a lot to be said for a doublr de-caf latte, a freshly baked croissant, with raspberry jam, a pain au chocolat and a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice........ If you like it up the chocolate autostrada.

    Nothing beats the taste and smell of a full fry up, especially the smell of tasty bacon mixed with the whiff of mouldy tentage, while queueing up in the rain. Yummy.
  15. Cutaway

    Cutaway LE Reviewer

    Let's get this bloody well straight once and for all.

    There can be only one breakfast for winners, and that is the fry up.
    What's on the menu at the Mess/cookhouse ? Fry-ups that's what.

    Yes, over the past fifty years or so there has been an insidious fifth column of carrot and lettuce scoffers who have been pushing their dirty wares onto the breakfast counter, but it's lethal kak and needs the Protein Police to get in there & crack some skulls.
    The only exception to this is the thick, rib-sticking gloop the Porridge Wogs make - and then only as an extra to a fry up.

    How many soldiers have passed the Cdo Cse, P-Coy or Selection on Kellog's fecking floor sweepings ?

    While over on Ex with the Scandawegians, their cookhouse provided a bewildering array of processed and raw seeds for breakfast and - horror of horrors, that blemish on the backside of culinary culture - bread & soft cheese !
    I managed to chat the (civvy) cookhouse crew into making a mountain of egg banjos for those who wanted to win, and they even knocked together a decent ham & eggs off their own bat.

    The blond bearded vikings stared at our plates of real scoff and hurdy-gurdied amongst themselves until one of them ambled over to ask if we always ate a cooked breakfast and why.

    "S'like this Sven," I said while spraying breadcrumbs & egg yolk over his combats, "Have you heard of the Swedish Empire ?"
    - "Øøøh nø, Ay dø nøt sink Ay haff"
    "Well that's because they haven't had one worth speaking about. D'you know why ?"
    - "Øøøh nø, sis ålsø Ay dø nøt knøw"
    "Because they eat fcuking museli in the morning, that's why !
    If you're going to cut around the planet finding continents and conquering them you need more than a handful of crap you throw at Traffy Square skyrats !
    Dead things is what you want, loads of protein and fat. I demand something that was until recently clucking, oinking or happily playing in emerald fields, not swaying in the damn breeze.
    In fact I won't eat until something fluffy has died !
    Fecking museli, I ask you !"

    Sven quietly said "Sankyou" and wombled perplexedly off to his hand-knitted bio yoghourt.
    And that's another thing I won't have for breakfast, something a doris will stuff up her flange to stop it dripping.