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Saw the rag on the way in to work....Story about Assistant Chief of Staff in Lisburn....hilarious reporting, unfortunately no web link yet. Apparently playing the field but has been caught on webcam... silly boy !
What an arrse...


Jan 26 2004

EXCLUSIVE: Army chief revealed military secrets to lovers on web

By Jeremy Armstrong and Tom Newton Dunn

A COLONEL is being probed after revealing sensitive secrets to his lover and exposing himself on the internet.

Married Mark Varley, 45, is an Assistant Chief of Staff and the third most senior officer in Ulster.

His ex-lover Serena Christopher, 48, said: "He loved to tell me when he was meeting people like Geoff Hoon and regularly stripped off for me in front of his webcam."


CHEATING Colonel Mark Varley tried to impress his net lover by revealing secrets - and exposing himself.

The upper crust father of two revealed to divorcee Serena Christopher sensitive military material over the internet, bragged about his part in anti-terror operations and boasted of meeting Defence Secretary Geoff Hoon and Sinn Fein leader Gerry Adams.

He would then film himself with a webcam stripping off his military uniform to the raw, becoming more excited as he did so, and leering over the net: "Look, this is what you do to me."

As the Army mounted an urgent probe last night divorcee Serena, 48, told the Mirror: "He'd tell me things like 'We've been out on a helicopter all night on surveillance looking for the 'bad guys', meaning the IRA.

"Sometimes he'd strip off completely for me in front of the webcam and show me he was aroused. At other times he'd just strip down to his shorts or pants, stand to the side and show me his erection in his pants." Once, she claimed, he filmed himself performing a sex act.

Sandhurst trained Varley, 45 - Assistant Chief of Staff at Army HQ in Lisburn and the third most senior officer serving in Ulster - flew to England to bed Serena. He sent her cheques and flowers romantically signed SRTS - "Serena's Roughtie Toughtie Soldier."

Serena was so convinced the couple were going to be together she sent him a copy of her front door key. But the arrogant officer, who had repeated internet affairs, two-timed his lover by seeing another married woman.

Unbelievably the rat then tried to end his fling with Serena by claiming his wife Sue had cervical cancer.

His shameful behaviour left him open to blackmail and flagrantly risked the lives of colleagues. It is the biggest sex and security scandal to hit the Armed Forces since Chief of Defence Staff Sir Peter Harding quit over his affair with Lady Bienvenida Buck 10 years ago.

As Assistant Chief of Staff, Varley had the highest possible security clearance, and a rare insight into secret surveillance and arrest operations in the battle against terrorism.

He also headed administration, training and personnel matters for the 14,000-strong Ulster garrison and had access to all restricted personnel records.

Last night the Royal Logistics Corps colonel, who boasts a military pencil moustache and plummy accent, was unavailable for comment.

THE Defence Ministry said: "We take any allegations of impropriety or security breaches very seriously. We will investigate these claims and take disciplinary action if appropriate."

A senior army officer added: "What this stupid man did beggars belief.

"This is a deep embarrassment to everyone from the Defence Secretary down. We just hope he hasn't made disclosures that will cost lives."

Randy Varley - father of a daughter of 13 and a son of 11 - signed on to chatrooms as VMan with the message: "VMan. 45. M. UK. Clothed and with a brain. Please say hello." He met lonely heart Serena over the net in July. Serena said: "It was in a chat room called DWYCO where you get all sorts - gays, lesbians and couples.

"We both had pretend names. I was Fragrance. We started with general chat then began web-camming each other."

The couple were soon in contact at all hours of the day and night, often while Varley was in the middle of military operations. Serena said: "He'd speak to me every morning after his jog and it would continue through the day.

"He loved to tell me when he was meeting important people. Just before Christmas he said he was going to be meeting Geoff Hoon. I was impressed.

"He joked 'I'm going to be with two Secretaries of State' because he was also meeting a minister from Ireland.

"Then he texted me from the middle of dinner, just to say 'You'd like this - this is very posh'.

"It was always like that if he was meeting someone important or he was away on exercises. He'd describe the IRA as the 'bad guys' and if he had an operation he'd explain he wasn't going to be on the webcam, but would text or phone.

"On one operation he texted me to say 'Bad guys got away'. He also told me the unit was going to be away in Iraq and were leaving around January 10-12.

"He once joked over the phone about heading off in a helicopter. saying 'You didn't hear that, did you? If you did, I'll have to come and kill you'.

"I'd joke back 'I look forward to that'. I realise now all this was a big security risk, but I didn't think of that at the time." Two months after first meeting on the net, Varley flew to the North of England for a romantic weekend with Serena.

But that did not stop his sordid activities in front of the webcam set up in the study of his married quarters at barracks.

Serena said: "His favourite time to call was after his morning run. We'd speak for half an hour. He was always sweaty and would walk around as we talked.

AFTER we met for the first time, he'd show me that he was aroused and say 'Look, this is what you do to me'.

"I just thought that's what men do as they're more aroused than women first thing in the morning. I was flattered but it really didn't do anything for me.

"Once he was going off to dinner in his full military get-up, wearing a white shirt with the short red jacket, striped trousers and dickie-bow tie. What woman wouldn't be attracted to that?

"He left me a message showing off his outfit and rubbing his hands over his body and his bum. He'd regularly do the striptease, it was part of his routine."

But all the while he was cheating on her. Serena said: "I saw another woman on the same site and she said she'd found her 'soulmate' who was a colonel.

"I said 'Oh, my soulmate is a colonel too'. Then she told me he was married with two kids. I asked what he looked like and she described him exactly.

"Then Mark came on line and started talking to her. I told the woman I'd phone him and we saw him pick up the phone.

"The woman told me she'd known him for two years, how she was married with five kids and how he'd lied to me.

"In October, Mark told me he was going to Salisbury to do some training which involved going down a hole before going to Iraq.

"In fact he was staying in a hotel with his other lover. It was all lies.

"He also told me his wife was having blood tests and might have cancer.

"He said they'd found a lump, thought it was a cyst and she'd been to hospital to have it removed where they found pre-cancerous cells.

"Mark said his wife was going to have radiotherapy in Northern Ireland because it was really good there and he'd requested that his tour of duty in Iraq be cancelled on compassionate grounds.

"I even went on the net to find out information about the disease for him. But every last bit of it was a lie. What kind of person would say that about his wife?

"When I confronted him he said he wanted me to feel sorry for him so that when he finished the affair, I wouldn't call Sue and tell her.

"I went onto the internet to try and find someone and all I got was lies and deceit. This has totally destroyed me."
its all those different regiments that make the capbadge up, so many perversions, its an overload! bless him, would have been much funnier if the other person he was having the affair with was really a 20 stone truck driver named dave.
Woopert is black?

Bizarre I pictured him as a small shouldered, pasty white cross dresser with a cleft pallet and a stammer :D
Woopert isn't, as far as I know, black; but neither is Col Varley, the man named in the story above.

Still, with all these pimps and perverts in the Really Lascivious Corps it's easy to get confused. :D
There was a story in the Evening Standard last week about the drummer from some 70s band who has had a sex change. He served in the Cav, apparently.


Oh, but he is a Colonel and so will just get posted to the MoD.
Is this the 'knicker wetting loggie stuff' that Woopert had in his signature?
Oooooh God no! Have you seen the pictures? He's got a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp and a gut the size of...well..... MDN's (and he looks like a pregnant walrus even after a diet!) :lol:

After all the pies, G4 mates need to burn off the energy somehow 8)


In fact I think he was in a few of those German porn films from '80s...
Old Salt

Location: in a very wet sandpit with some shite italians

Tell us more about your location........................I'm intrigued" :twisted:
"I went onto the internet to try and find someone and all I got was lies and deceit. This has totally destroyed me."
Hang on, this woman was quite happy to carry on with a married man with 2 kids and only decided to spill the beans when she found out she wasn't the only 'bird in the hand'.

I don't condone what Col Varley has done but this woman deserves nothing but contempt.

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