From training to Working Unit or Battalion

Following on from the first shock when joining up, give us your horror stories of when you got to your first working unit or up to Battalion.

I myself had a very easy time as I got posted straight from training to Trials Troop at the School of Signals. This was almost unheard of as the unit consisted of either experienced Corps members or the majority who were laminated sick chit holders of the highest order. So as a sprog I was quite a new entity, hardly any singlies in the troop, so went down town got drunk. No dance of the flaming arsehole, no top shelf that was it really.

I wasn't preyed on in the block by perverts unlike a chap I knew from the Black Watch. When he went for a shower, he turned round to see one of the much older singlies sitting naked on an orange polly prop chair peeling an orange whilst watching him shower, when he went to get out the bloke said to him in a low growl "continue showering"

So any interesting stories or rituals involving chickens, dice and black magic?
Not a ritual as such. I arrived at Hohne from training in company with another bloke, whom I didnt know well as we had been oin different tp's, I think he had been back squadded. Anyway we were given a room on the 1st floor of an MB and decided to turn in early as it had been a long day. About 2130 a humungous fight broke out in the corridor outside. I nipped over to the door and turned the key. Something heavy hit the dour with a wall shaking thud and then there was silence. The bloke with me pointed at the bottom of the door, where a thin trickle of blood was worming its way into the room. Welcome to Hohne!
My first working unit was the Queen Elizabeth Military Hospital, Woolwich, which was a complete misnomer as there was almost nothing military about it. In the four months I was there, I did no PT, drill was unheard of and I think I saluted twice. I was duty clerk something like once a fortnight (that was a pain cos the inconsiderate sods always waited til 0130hrs to die) and once a month I had to work a Sunday morning in Admissions. I was basically doing what I'd done in civvy street, for less money. The NAAFI made up for it tho! :)
Got posted to a Field Workshop from Bordon, piled my crap into my Ford Capri on a Monday lunchtime and set off. Got to the unit mid-afternoon and was greeted by a very cas sentry in trops and a smock with an SA80 draped over his shoulder. Got booked in with only a minimal bollocking from the ASM for daring to book in wearing jeans. Sprog into an 8-man room, was told (not asked) that we were going on the piss that night.

The big shock came the following morning when I met my Tiff for the first time, and he told me that I was being attached to another unit and leaving for Op Granby at the end of the week.
First posting was to Germany. Flight into Wildenrath and bus picks me and 1 other guy up and delivers us to the barracks.

We arrived about 18:00 so where put in the transit accom for the night so no faffing about with going to see anyone until the next day.

The regt was on exercise at the time so one of the biffchit holders was jiffed to show us the cookhouse/naafi etc.

The first night in the naafi was actually sort of quiet and we retired to bed at a reasonable time. Next thing about 01:00 our door is thrown open and there are about 5 blokes and 4 Wrac who have decided that our room is the perfect place for a party.

I will draw a veil over the ensuing drunken antics except to say that the new bloke with me got a shag and I didn't and I don't know whether to be sorry or glad as the hippocrocagorillapig he shagged was bigger than both of us put together.

Welcome to BAOR.
Turned up at Brompton in my little Citroen Visa with another bod from my Trg Troop.

After the hanging around waiting for someone from 33 to turn up at the guardroom eventually a Lance jack with his face on inside out turns up, we recieve vague accusations about taking to long to arrive from Gib which are all met with fresh from the farm 'Yes Corporal. No Corporal,' and are led to the accomodation block to drop off our kit before
being taken across the river to Lodge Hill Camp and getting to the unit.

While waiting to be marched in to see the Adj a 'Yes Corporal' response to afore mentioned Lance Jack was jumped on by one of the full screws nearby. 'Dont call him Corporal, you call him A*** and hes a cunt!'

Ok, thinks I this is different.

More grumbles from the Adj about how long we took to get there, as though we'd turned up a few days after being processed out of Gib not just a few hours, and then the intro to the Regt layout.

A wall of information that washed over me apart from the last bit telling my oppo that he was in 1 Tp and I was now 2 Tp and a voice in my head now saying that was Para and Commando wasnt it?
I dont want to be a Para and I dont want to be a Commando, I must have misheard, they wouldnt put someone with no interest in those troops.

But then I thought I was going to Field Survey when I joined to make maps.

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