From the pages of Viz

#4
vvaannmmaann said:
Is Viz still going?
Strangely enough, to use the oft mentioned phrase, sometimes heard on here, its not as funny as it used to be.......... :D
 
#5
I think it is still going but well past its halcyon days .
I used to buy it regularly .... just done a check and I have issues going back to Number 20 ... and various annuals . I believe they are becoming very collectable .
Some ace characters including .... The Two Fat Slags who were two nice shy retiring girls that would be the epitomy of decorum at any party and Sid the Sexist who was the " C*ck of the North " and a real smooth talking ladies man.
 
#6
I did like the early days, I had the first three annuals.

Jack Black and his dog silver, detective type teenager, used to have pensioners locked up for the most trivial crimes, selling cookies for charity that were chocolate flavour and not chocolate flavoured as described.

The pathetic sharks.

 
#7
Anyone remember "S.W.A.N.T"? Aka... Special Weapons and No Tactics?

"Get me some more guns... make 'em BIG!"

Made oi larf!
 
#8
Preston Ironed only appeared a few times:-

"Look at my shoes. Polishing them was the best two week's holiday I ever had."

Wondered if he retired to the boot bulling thread on ARRSE.
 
#9
You should know all about shoe shinin' AM - especially after your performance on that bus! :D
 
#10
Now that takes me back to when it was funny. Is Postman Plod and Paul Whicker the Tall Vicar still in it.



And my all time favorite.
 
#11
Roger Melley, the man on the telly: : "Oh shit the boss wants to come round to my place this afternoon, better call the pig and get her to shove the hoover around before we get there". Class, sheer class!
 
#12
Cut out and keep.



Duran Duran Underpants

Be the bell-end of your balls, with these exclusive Duran Duran underpants.Cut out and keep.




 
#13
My all-time favourite was a one-off, 4-frame cartoon called 'Fox in a Box'


'What you got there?

'A fox in a box'

'What are you going to do with it?'

'Fuck it and eat it.'




I suppose you had to be there........... I still use 'Fuck it and eat it' as an answer to stupid questions*.

(*Then again, my name is Jeffrey Dahmer)



Why is there no mention yet of 'Up the Arse Corner'? Absolute classics.
 

maguire

LE
Book Reviewer
#15
bohs_man said:
Raffles the gentleman thug wins hands down every time!
'your wife, sir? I do apologize - I thought I was addressing a tuppenny hapenny prostitute.'

'may I enquire, sir, if your wife is proficient in the feminine art of needlecraft? then may I respectfully suggest that she stitches THIS fcuker then.'
 
#16
maguire said:
bohs_man said:
Raffles the gentleman thug wins hands down every time!
'your wife, sir? I do apologize - I thought I was addressing a tuppenny hapenny prostitute.'

'may I enquire, sir, if your wife is proficient in the feminine art of needlecraft? then may I respectfully suggest that she stitches THIS fcuker then.'
'Is sir addressing me or is he masticating on a house brick? Because either way sir loses his fcuking teeth.'
 
#17
 
#18
The Sexist Book of Records are ace.

The World of Women
Driving
Car repairs
June Spears, who was taken for a £6,322 ride by her local garage.

The largest bill for fictitious work carried out on a woman's car by garage mechanics was one of £6,322.88 charged by Joskin Bros Motors Ltd. of Stevenage, Herts. (GB). Calling in for a routine service on her one-year-old Peugeot 305, Mrs. June Spears agreed to pay for, amongst other things, new trumpets (£725), cracked gangle pin (£1,785), realignment of main glib shaft (£2,268), new grommets (£112), set of hexagonal tag nuts and dangleberry adapter (£35) and new piss-take valves (£120). No work was actually carried out on the car during the six weeks that it spent at the garage but 4000 miles were put on the clock and she later received a speeding summons from Italian police.
 
#19
crabtastic said:
maguire said:
bohs_man said:
Raffles the gentleman thug wins hands down every time!
'your wife, sir? I do apologize - I thought I was addressing a tuppenny hapenny prostitute.'

'may I enquire, sir, if your wife is proficient in the feminine art of needlecraft? then may I respectfully suggest that she stitches THIS fcuker then.'
'Is sir addressing me or is he masticating on a house brick? Because either way sir loses his fcuking teeth.'
'This horseless carriage is a veritable vaginal lodestone.'
 
#20
JoeCivvie said:
My all-time favourite was a one-off, 4-frame cartoon called 'Fox in a Box'


'What you got there?

'A fox in a box'

'What are you going to do with it?'

'Fuck it and eat it.'




I suppose you had to be there........... I still use 'Fuck it and eat it' as an answer to stupid questions*.

(*Then again, my name is Jeffrey Dahmer)


Why is there no mention yet of 'Up the Arse Corner'? Absolute classics.[/quote.

That's one of my favourite viz cartoons too! Can't explain why but it's brilliant!
 

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