it's late at night when a UFO crash lands in the middle of a huge field. the emergency ramp lowers and four aliens walk down, all a bit dased and confused. there's a captain alien, a navigator alien, a translator alien, and a colonel alien, and the funny thing about these aliens is that they look remarkably like petrol pumps, not exactly but pretty close. so the alien captain decides they will explore this strange land in search of intelligent lifeforms. they travel across the field for about hour until they come to a road. so they travel down the road for another hour or so until they come to a one pump petrol station. the aliens are intrigued, keeping in mind that they look similar to a petrol pump, they think they have found a similar species to their own. so the captain walks up to the pump and says, in his alien language "hello, we are looking for intelligent lifeforms, take us to the nearest city"... nothing, the petrol pump doesn't reply. so the captain turns to his translator and tells him to translate what he just said into a hundred different languages in the hopes that the 'being' might understand. so the translator does as he is told... still nothing. at this point the captain is getting very frustrated. he pulls out a ray gun, points it at the petrol pump and says "listen you deformed piece of sh*t, take us to the nearest city or i'll blow your f*cking brains out"... again there is no reply what-so-ever from the petrol pump so the irrate captain shots the ray gun point blank at the pump. there is a huge explosion which sends all four aliens flying into the air. later on the aliens come back to consciousness and the captain, rather dazed and confused, turns to his colonel and says "what the f*ck just happened???" to which the colonel alien replies

"sir, if i've told you once, i've told you a million bloody times. YOU DON'T MESS WITH A GUY THAT CAN WRAP HIS D*CK AROUND HIS WAIST AND STICK IT IN HIS EAR!!!"

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