Taken from The Daily Mash WOMEN who don't like having sex with men have something wrong with their brains, a new study has finally proved beyond doubt. Scientists have confirmed that whenever a wife, girlfriend or attractive woman in the pub declines the opportunity to have sex, it is because they are a frigid, mentally defective dyke who is scared of a real man like you. Researcher, Tom Logan, said: "Up until now we were sure that lesbianism was all in the mind. That women who did not want to have sex with you only thought they were lesbians. "But if you look closely at these head x-rays you can see exactly where all the lesbianism is. "It seems as though not wanting to have sex with a man makes the frontal lobe doo-da go the colour of denim. "Meanwhile these other x-rays show what happens inside the brain of a normal woman who is constantly up for it. Look how happy she is." He added: "If there is a lesson to be learned from this it's that women should look after their brains and stop being so totally lesbian about having sex with me." But Dr Logan's wife, Emma, said: "My study suggests very strongly that it's not me it's you, you fat, bald, stinky little shit. "If I don't like sex, then what the fuck are all those tea lights doing in the bathroom?"