Friday the 13th

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by Devil_Dog, Oct 13, 2006.

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  1. Some gal I just got "doing" informs me that today is Friday the thirteenth.Exactly 13 minutes later the phone rings and it's an old pal of mine.During the course of the conversation,he tells me that the previously mentioned gal has been known to "get around" and that word on the street is she might be on a mission to "spread germs".He (friend) does not know that said gal is sound asleep in my arms.He has tried on numerous occasions to "bed" same gal to no avail.

    So,the question is:

    a) should I be worried
    b) should I be frightened
    c) should I be terrified?
    d) should I dismiss it as the ravings of a jealous wannabe suitor? :?
  2. As long as you remember that she should orally clean your member after you've kicked her back doors in and you should wipe your knob off on her curtains immediately afterwards, you should be able to remain disease free.

    Should you develop any unwelcome symptoms, collect a stool sample in her handbag and take it to your GP for analysis.
  3. Well said that man!

    Back to study epidemology for me... 8O

    Crabby you've changed your avtar....any reason, its not fri the 13th yet...well not for you!
  4. Unfortunately, I kicked both her doors in and she is in my quarters and I'm not prepared to ruin my curtains.Her handbag was conveniently left at her place (which leads me to suspect she was was wary of aforementioned retribution.)

    BTW, is it normal to itch while peeing?How about red spots in stool?

    Getting weaker by the minute....
  5. Gremlin

    Gremlin LE Good Egg (charities)

    Don't be a pansy. If you've caught it then so be it, but do both holes again just to be certain.
  6. She won't wake up.

    As a matter of fact, she does not seem to be breathing.Can't feel her pulse either.

    Temperature rising steadily.Beads of sweat forming on forehead....
  7. And that is stopping you doing both holes? Drill her again or put yourself on 5 days ROPs!

  8. Wish I could,mate.Both holes dripping with mysterious fluid.The stream of blood flowing from corner of her mouth clotting rapidly.Quick look outside window confirms vultures circling overhead.Symptoms of rigor mortis setting in.

    Smell of sulphur overpowering....
  9. that'll be me.

  10. Sniff test first...and put a bag on.
  11. <... puts on agony aunt hat>

    If she's a slag then she would have fcuked your mate. Simple... She's probably not a slag, but a woman who's sexually confident in herself. If your mate is too gipping for her he's probably p*ssed off and is slagging her off so that no man will go near her, thus making her vunerable to his charms.

    Or... if your knob turns green and drops off in the next couple of days, she's a pestilent whore.

    <Hat off>
  12. Friday the 13th, bad day to be a Knight Templar but apparently a good day to share "pets" with dodgy birds.

    Look on the bright side if she's popped her clogs and you weren't bagged up at least the CSA won't be calling.............................

    Pretend you found the pulse and get some while body heat still there (well it is the NAAFI after all)
  13. Surely that's what M.D.N. would do, get it in her while she's still warm !
  14. Do her again quick before rigor sets in.
  15. Do her again! who cares about the said 'germs' We can be cured these days :)