Two men are approaching each other on the sidewalk. Both are dragging their right foot as they walk. As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points at his foot and says, "Vietnam, 1969." The other points behind him and says, "Dog shit, 20 feet back." What was the first thing Adam said to Eve? "Stand Back! I don't know how big this thing gets!" A German guy approaches a prostitute. "I vish to buy sex vit you". "OK" says the girl, "I'll charge 20 an hour". "Ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky". "No problem" she replies cautiously, "I can do little kinky". So off they go to the girl's flat, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller. "I vant you to tie ze springs to each of your limbs". The girl finds this most odd, but complies, fastening the springs to her hands and knees. "Now you vill get on your hans und knees" She duly does this, balancing on the springs. "You vill please blow Zis vistle as I make love to you." She finds this odd, but figures it's harmless, and the guy is paying. The sex is fantastic. She is bounced all over the room by the energetic German, all the time honking on the duck caller. The climax is the most sensational that she has ever experienced, and it is several minutes before she has recovered the breath to say: "That was totally amazing, what do you call that?" "Ah", says the German, ............................ wait for it........... "Four-sprung duck technique".