French Military Victories!?

#1
This has probably been done before but a mate showed me this last weekend and it made me giggle.
Remembering Ignazi's thread a little while back we should send it to him.

Google 'French Military Victories' and then click 'I Feel Lucky' and see the result. Classic.
 
#2
Dwarf said:
This has probably been done before but a mate showed me this last weekend and it made me giggle.
Remembering Ignazi's thread a little while back we should send it to him.

Google 'French Military Victories' and then click 'I Feel Lucky' and see the result. Classic.
Result 2, here, is actually funnier.
 

Goatman

ADC
Book Reviewer
#4
Richard_Hannay said:
Jena, Austerlitz? Or have I missed the point?
The point is that a lot of Americans genuinely think that because the French refused to join in the replay of Gulf War 1 -

Kuwaiti Border Guard to M1 Abrams jockey: <<Purpose of visit?>>
M1J.......................................................... " Regime Change son "
KBG...........................................................<< Occupation ? >>
M1J............................................................" Yup...seems so...."

- that the French can't fight.


Yankee wiseacres (and more level-headed Brits) may wish to consider a battle in The American Century...

http://www.wereldoorlog1418.nl/battleverdun/kortverdun/index.htm#06

One battle.....a third of a million French dead.....6 times as many as US casualties from D-day to VE day, Stephen Ambrose's sacred generation of citizen soldiers....


The jury is still out on whether either side won.....but there would have been a hell of lot more snarling bestial Boche about at , for example , Argonne without the slack handful wasted by Pierre Poilu in the mincing machine around Douaumont.
The Last French Offensive
The French decided to attack once more to force the Germans back to their original positions of February 1916. On 11 December the French artillery fire started again and on 13 December the French advanced behind a rolling artillery barrage. The Germans clung on determinedly. The French losses were huge but finally the front broke.

On 19 December 1916 the German army command concluded that they had suffered a defeat at Verdun. The German army had once and for all been pushed back to its original positions. The battle of Verdun had come to an end.

Given the quality of the American schooling system, it is no wonder that most of Generation X have never heard of the Argonne or Black Jack Pershing ( hey, that's some kind of mistle right? " )....hardly any wonder then that NONE of them will know about Verdun....


It would be nice to think Brits are a bit more savvy.....but then the pink clouds and fluffy bunny-wunnies here on Planet Nice have always been so much more agreeable....


Le Chevre

'La route est dur
Mais je suis fort
Mon arme est sur
La peur est Mort.....'
 
#6
Goatman said:
Richard_Hannay said:
Jena, Austerlitz? Or have I missed the point?
The point is that a lot of Americans genuinely think that because the French refused to join in the replay of Gulf War 1 -

Kuwaiti Border Guard to M1 Abrams jockey: <<Purpose of visit?>>
M1J.......................................................... " Regime Change son "
KBG...........................................................<< Occupation ? >>
M1J............................................................" Yup...seems so...."

- that the French can't fight.


Yankee wiseacres (and more level-headed Brits) may wish to consider a battle in The American Century...

http://www.wereldoorlog1418.nl/battleverdun/kortverdun/index.htm#06

One battle.....a third of a million French dead.....6 times as many as US casualties from D-day to VE day, Stephen Ambrose's sacred generation of citizen soldiers....


The jury is still out on whether either side won.....but there would have been a hell of lot more snarling bestial Boche about at , for example , Argonne without the slack handful wasted by Pierre Poilu in the mincing machine around Douaumont.
The Last French Offensive
The French decided to attack once more to force the Germans back to their original positions of February 1916. On 11 December the French artillery fire started again and on 13 December the French advanced behind a rolling artillery barrage. The Germans clung on determinedly. The French losses were huge but finally the front broke.

On 19 December 1916 the German army command concluded that they had suffered a defeat at Verdun. The German army had once and for all been pushed back to its original positions. The battle of Verdun had come to an end.

Given the quality of the American schooling system, it is no wonder that most of Generation X have never heard of the Argonne or Black Jack Pershing ( hey, that's some kind of mistle right? " )....hardly any wonder then that NONE of them will know about Verdun....


It would be nice to think Brits are a bit more savvy.....but then the pink clouds and fluffy bunny-wunnies here on Planet Nice have always been so much more agreeable....


Le Chevre

'La route est dur
Mais je suis fort
Mon arme est sur
La peur est Mort.....'

I never actually said the Frogs can't fight, and as a sometime student of WW1 I do know the true valour shown by Les Poilus. However this thread is meant to be light-hearted, the frog can't fight discussion has been done before.
 
#9
The_Rattler said:
this is all i could find (not sure if it worked) but it just said do you not mean french defeats
Yes that's the joke - it's a fake google page - if you look a the url field you'll see it says www.albinoblacksheep.com not www.google.com

A couple of forgotten French victories are the battles of Magenta and Solferino in 1859 during the Second Italian War of Independence. OK they only beat the Austrians but even that must count for something surely :)

The Battle of Solferino is significant because the aftermath made Jean-Henri Dunant want to found the Red Cross.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Magenta
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Solferino
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Second_Italian_War_of_Independence
 
#11
#13
#15
big_mad_ejit said:
BarceBandit said:
You've most probably seen this?
He seems to be giving Dijon a good golden shower while he's at it - maybe that's what gives the mustard it's piquant flavour :D

Amazing what you can find on Wikipedia; another obscure French victory, over Mexico in the "Pastry War" of 1838-39

Also the "War of the Whiskers" - not too clear who won that.

More; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Wars_involving_France
trust the frogs to go to war over some croissants :lol:
 
#17
mr.fawlty said:
'Astings?
Not so my good Mister Fawlty. IIRC the Normans were actually Viking raiders who sailed down, looted and pillaged the Normandy area and conquered it before besieging Paris. After the arrse kicking they gave the French they were allowed to keep the land they'd already taken as Counts of the area in return for acknowledging the French crown and not burning down any more of their stuff. A generation or two later they decided to add England to their collection as well. So as I always say, better Norse than French! :)
 
#18
Brick said:
mr.fawlty said:
'Astings?
Not so my good Mister Fawlty. IIRC the Normans were actually Viking raiders who sailed down, looted and pillaged the Normandy area and conquered it before besieging Paris. After the arrse kicking they gave the French they were allowed to keep the land they'd already taken as Counts of the area in return for acknowledging the French crown and not burning down any more of their stuff. A generation or two later they decided to add England to their collection as well. So as I always say, better Norse than French! :)
Sorry, though I hate to admit it, they were pretty well frenchified by the time of 'Astings, plus the fact that much of the army was actually frog or Breton, (actually ex-britons).
But they wouldn't have got away with it if
1. We hadn't had to fight twice against the real Norse at Fulford and Stamford Bridge just before.
2. Harold had either let his brothers lead the army and stayed in London as they asked him to, or left a brother behind just in case.
3. Harold had waited to gather his full army.

But as this is meant to be light-'earted then as you said better Norse than French perhaps then that is what Harold, pre-empting a king 400 years later, meant by his final words of "My kingdom for a Norse".

-Sorry I couldn't resist it.
 
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