I suppose it was only a matter of time. It is, after all, free for a reason. I simply don't think I can survive another evening of Extreme Alaskan Homosexual Antique Restoration: Two camp old lushes navigate their monster ship through the treacherous Australian outback in the search for bargain cottages in the Cotswolds – avoiding alien abduction, subterranean Nazi bases and brain-dead redneck chopper-builders; before doing up their 1969 Mk II Cortina, auctioning it off for a meagre profit and discovering Jesus. It's the same unimaginative shit over and over again and enough is enough. So what to do? Answers on a postcard.