Freelance Recycling Specialists

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by ericthellama, Jul 7, 2006.

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  1. When I rocked up to the factory at 07.00 this morning to let in the eager workforce, imagine my delight in finding that the huge skip next door was having its metallic contents flung across my car park by a pair of eager Freelance Recycling Specialists who were then packing it onto their truck. These swarthy and heavily tattooed workers with their distinctive earrings must have started in the wee small hours to have been so productive since their truck was very nearly full.

    Bless them they beavered away like Trojans for another hour and the precarious load was over cab height before they made off. Their work ethic is so impressive that they have just returned to complete the task. The factory owner seems unaccountably reluctant to call in on them during their work, preferring to admire them from his car at the end of the road.

    Now I appreciate that in this modern liberal society we are expected to respect other cultures. I also recognise that their ancient and colourful culture takes a very liberal view of the concept of ‘ownership’ and the redistribution of the wealth of others is one of their major concerns. Their natural generosity recently extended to their depositing a cubic yard of soil and paving slabs into my own skip and I spent one very happy day sifting through this unexpected windfall.

    These fiercely independent Freelance Recycling Specialists are an integral part to our society through their often unexpected activities in ‘reassigning’ ownership of seemingly unused property. With their unerring enthusiasm for their work they selflessly devote themselves, almost always without needing an invitation, to seeking out suitable material and taking it upon themselves to ‘recycle’ it for us. Scrap metal such as cars, motorcycles, coins and well, scrap metal . . . nothing is too small to escape their attention.

    When they move their delightful encampments to a new location the statuesque arrangement of fridges, washing machines and inverted vans they leave behind would make Tracy Emin weep with appreciation. I am certain they are an invaluable addition to our drab society, adding colour and wonderful surprises to our lives.

    But somehow there remains an unsettling doubt that perhaps, just perhaps, these lawless, aggressive, thieving bastards with no respect for property or normal social behaviour are actually parasites in our society. Is it just me or does anyone else have the same nagging doubts?
  2. maninblack

    maninblack LE Book Reviewer

    Charming chaps, I'm sure. When you see them next week can you ask if I could borrow my lawnmower?
  3. Some firm's actually allow these "specialists" onto their premises to collect the scrap. However this backfired on one company when they nicked half the stock left in the yard and drove out unhindered.
  4. spike7451

    spike7451 RIP

    Probably funkin pikey scum!
  5. hit the nail on the head!!
  6. Used to work for a firm when I got out in 99 and oneofthecrewsfrom theother depot who would come up when we were short staffed were proper skip lickers would see a boarded up house(s)onc finshed thier work would come backbreakin and stal raidators ect out of them used to take old cable drums out theskip and burn the plastic off it and weigh in the copper. The two best theiving tales I know are below,

    1. were I come from in Ayrshire we told about a lad who broke into the scrappie to steal raidators and burn the paint off them and re-sell back to the scrappie well this time the guard dog see's him in the yard moching around and gives chase fella starts legging it and gets to the fence and starts climbing over it only for the dog to jump up and bite one of his bollocks clean off 8O had to be true ashisgrand son used to get wound up to fcuk when hegot the piss took out of him about it

    2. My mate works as a salesmanfor waste disposal and one of the sites he looked after had an agreement ith the pikeys were they didn't mind them comming onto the site taking what they wanted after working hours after a while the pikeys started to mess up the site and were smashing up signs so the busys were called and a few were knicked for tresspass/crim damage. not longer the windows ect started to get put in etc. One day one of the workers climbed into his digger and sat down and started it up only to notice a funny smell turns out one of the pikeys had shat on the seat and he'd got it all over his trousers :pissedoff:
  7. spike7451

    spike7451 RIP

    First job on leaving the RAF was a security guard at the local electric board depot.Went in one morning to open up & cancel the alarms & the was a fire in the back compound (un-alarmed & where they stored all the copper cables)
    Some cnut was burning the plastic off the cable to expose the copper.The security manager ,when told,asked "why did'nt you stop him?" & I replied " funk off,I dont get paid £4.80 to confront no cnut! Especially in a dark store yard!!"
    Needless to say,my card was marked!
  8. Shotgun.
    "I have some lead you can recycle."
    Only practical solution.
    Of course, we're not allowed to do that now and neither are our splendid police forces (sorry, services). And so we find our country has become a toilet.
  9. Funny that we had a nice PC and flat screen monitor(when they 1st came out) on the reception at work to show off the broadband service we offered to the public/staff one night some smack heads smash the glass and steal it security (securicor) upstairs cracking one off in the bogs or what ever. second time once it was replaced they came back and smashed in in front of the security guard and once again helped themselves to the goods security guard was around 60 and told people that he didn't get paid enough to tackle them ........whats the fecking point of employing people to do a job they cant/wont?....needless to say the metal grill inside the doors stops the scum cheaper than securicor
  10. spike7451

    spike7451 RIP

    But my conflict was with WHO the thieves were possibly associated with! The Depot is.sorry,was right next to a Loyalist Estate on the Balloo Rd in Bangor,so to my mind,if I did tackle him (and I coud'nt see others lurking in the dark) I might've got a breeze block aroung the scone!