Free accomadation in Brighton!!!!!

#4
It doesn't mention that you have to be a house-trained walrus when in character, so it could get kinda messy.....


To take on the position as my lodger you must be prepared to wear the walrus suit for approximately two hours each day (in practice, this is not two hours every day - I merely state it here so you are able to have a clear idea of the workload). Whilst in the walrus costume you must be a walrus - there must be no speaking in a human voice, and any communication must entail making utterances in the voice of a walrus - I believe there aer recordings available on the web

Due to the nature of this position I will need to audition all applicants before agreeing to take the chosen candidate on as a lodger. Please contact me if you have any questions.
If I could be arrsed I'd phone him up and play this down the line....
Walrus sounds - YouTube

If ever there was a justification for a random "WTF!!" this is it...
 
#12
'Catching crabs' sounds a bit iffy.
 
#13
Without a shadow of a doubt, that man fucked that walrus......

Any one prepared to take that job on had best get ready for the weird cunt coming onto to them while they are "being the walrus"

Also, very, very good chance of getting murdered I think.........

Walrus bothering cunts....honestly, what the fuck is going on......
 
#15
The two hours a day in the Walrus suit would be a piece of piss.
This parting shot at the bottom raised an eyebrow.
...... "I am a considerate person to share a house with, and other than playing the accordion my tastes are easy to accomodate."
Enduring 5 minutes of the accordion would lead to murder.
 
T

Tremaine

Guest
#17
Only on ARRSe. So an old bloke that lived three years alone on St. Lawrence Island had the "most intense and fascinating years of his life, with a walrus called Gregory". Ummm what else...holding auditions...probably a screaming perv...been knitting a walrus costume for months... wants a lodger to wear a walrus suit..... I should grunt like a walrus for two hours a day....and he plays the accordion. Hang on, the utter cunt! The one thing I can't stand and fucking hate with a passion, is FISH! I have to eat FISH? Bollocks to him.
 
#19
Only on ARRSe. So an old bloke that lived three years alone on St. Lawrence Island had the "most intense and fascinating years of his life, with a walrus called Gregory". Ummm what else...holding auditions...probably a screaming perv...been knitting a walrus costume for months... wants a lodger to wear a walrus suit..... I should grunt like a walrus for two hours a day....and he plays the accordion. Hang on, the utter cunt! The one thing I can't stand and fucking hate with a passion, is FISH! I have to eat FISH? Bollocks to him.
He needs a Nip. The Japanese are fucking weird, and they like raw fish.
 
M

Mark The Convict

Guest
#20
'...you will be free to do whatever you choose, and will have a spacious double room, complete run of the house (with the exception of my bedroom and my workshop)...'

'...because that's where I keep the skinned, stuffed, mummified corpses of all my previous boarders. And Mother of course. Especially Mother, in fact...'

Anyone who even turns up after reading that bit needs their fucking head read.
 

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