Freak Magnets

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Moodybitch, Nov 24, 2009.

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  1. We all know one.....

    In my case the freak magnet is my closest friend, Kaz.

    She is an all round top chick, funny on the piss and takes no sh1t. Yet she is a complete freak magnet.

    So far she has seen off (which means ran away from while threatening to call the old bill) a neo-nazi nutter, a fruitloop that pretended he had cancer and the latest one, a 5ft 2 very needy ex marine.

    She had binned him the night before on account of him begging her to marry him (after 2 weeks) and telling her if she spoke to any blokes he would kill them and her. Despite him living in another county, he spent the following evening prowling round Colly trying to find her, attempting to smash up the boozers when he didn't and calling her phone every 2 mins with freaky messages such as "I love you", then "You don't know your own mind" and my personal fave "I know where you live".

    Obviously this was extremely concerning for Kaz, but fcuking great entertainment for me. :D

    After about a week of her hiding and threatening to call the plod he finally gave up and fcuked off. Probably to hang himself.

    Now everyone has the odd stalker story, but it's made me wonder just how many of us seem to attract total nutjobs.....share your horror stories here....
  2. I used to know this babe in Colli who just would not listen to me or the other three me's in my head. Bitch. Soon made her hamster talk though.
  3. Sixty

    Sixty LE Moderator Book Reviewer
    1. ARRSE Cyclists and Triathletes

    Oh god. I was that stalker (not the one in Moods’ post) who hung about in spots where I knew she’d be so I could bump into her by ‘coincidence’.

    In my defence, I was stupidly young and an arsehole at the time but, jesus, it still makes me cringe to think about it.

    On the plus side, I didn’t invite her to live with me, send money home for the bills and arrive home to find my house cleared out. That honour goes to a certain PO of my acquaintance.
  4. I suppose its like saying to a Civil Servant: 'Here's your bonus!!!
  5. It was pro-nazi you untermensch. All I asked was for her to wear stripey pyjamas and do my bidding, and that little yellow star looked so pretty..