It was the way he told em. Irrepressible frank Carson has died at the age of 85. BBC News - Frank Carson, the Northern Irish comedian, dies aged 85 A fella walks into a pet shop and says: Give me a wasp. The shopkeeper replies: We dont sell wasps. He says: Theres one in the window. * Someone threw a petrol bomb at Alex Higgins once. He drank it. * A man goes into Boots and says: Have you got Viagra? Do you have a prescription? asks the chemist. No, he replies, But Ive got a photograph of the wife... * A fella walked into hospital and the doctor said: Youve got three minutes to live. The man said: Can you do something for me? Yes, he said. Ill boil you an egg. * I don't think my wife likes me very much. When I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance. * A fella said to the doctor: Whats the good news? Youve got 24 hours to live. He says: Whats the bad news? And the doc says: We should have told you yesterday. * I rang British Telecom. I said, I want to report a nuisance caller. He said: "Not you again. * My uncle Jimmy took liver salts twice a day for 40 years. He died on Sunday, was buried Wednesday and the following Friday they had to go to the cemetery to beat his liver to death with a stick. * My wife said to me: If you won the lottery, would you still love me? I said: Of course I would. Id miss you, but Id still love you. * An Irishman's wife gave birth to twins. Her husband demanded to know who the other man was. Great comic timing. He wouldn't stop cracking them though even when off stage.