Foxy Cleopatra !!

#1
Ive recently 'gone black',

A series of extremely fortunate events at what you could loosely call a party last weekend culminated in a dynamite like finale involving me, a torn white shirt, a badly constructed Ikea single bed and 8 stone of biting, slighty aggressive black woman sat astride me, juiced up on Malibu and Coke, and Aswad (probably....)

The sex was, in a word, amazing. A swirling mash of arms and legs, swear words, mutual hole exploring and 3 unsheduled crash landings onto a walnut floor whilst wrapped up in a Peppa Pig duvet. The cherry on the cake being that upon her insistence that she was 'quite sore' in the morning in response to my hip jousting of her coffee coloured bottom cheeks and murmuring a gruff 'good morning' as if I was in an 80's coffee advert, she then happily invited me to eat her out whilst I pulled the head off it for her visual enjoyment, a heady feat of achievement when still rocked to the t*ts on JD and being twice the size of her.... :D

I'm enamoured..not with her, far too close to home for a second shot but retrospectively thinking black girls are ace. Even the horror bags in Kenya and the shoeless deity I slow danced and groped the night away with in Sierra Leone to a hard house soundtrack in a bar near the beach were pant wettingly exciting..

I should have forseen this, my first job ever was clearing ashtrays, collecting bottles/glasses and humping gear around a theme pub my Uncle owned, the dark princess that he had doing Sat/Sun afternoons made time every weekend to follow me into the cellar, unhook the front of her dungarees and hump my face as my gob fish mouthed its way around her brillo pad, she would laugh hoarsley then skip back upstairs whilst I leant over the barrells and flicked out a turbo w*nk....

Aside from the miserable c*nt that floats round my gaff, ill never tom a honky bitch again.. :D

I concur....
 
#2
Don't believe you! :p
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#3
Do you think the top one might be a tad young?!???!
 
#6
Juan_Ramirez_III said:
Biped said:
Do you think the top one might be a tad young?!???!
She's 21, with ricketts....
You're telling porkies again.....The old Bill will be on their way to you very shortly!!! :p
 
#9
Black don't crack, as they say.

I lost my cherry with a girl of ethnic descent. I couldn't tell you if she were as exciting as the ones described above because it was my first time and I didn't know what I was doing and, frankly, the whole business was such a disaster that I was convinced I was impotent for almost a year untill I found no. 2.

Needless to say she didn't come back for seconds, even of my enthusiastic but inexpert cunnilingus.
 
#11
Juan_Ramirez_III said:
Aside from the miserable c*nt that floats round my gaff, ill never tom a honky bitch again.. :D
Funny thing is, whilst your bitch cooked me bacon and eggs after I kicked her back doors in the other day she said she'd never do a pretzel-sized premature ejaculating mummy's boy who enjoyed her anal probing him far too much to be straight and cried after sex saying 'I wuv you' except you :D
 
#15
meridian said:
What the fcuk is a Peppa Pig Duvet

I can't relate to this story without knowing what it is
Google is very good.

 
#18
Juan_Ramirez_III said:
Ive recently 'gone black', ...

I should have forseen this, my first job ever was clearing ashtrays, collecting bottles/glasses and humping gear around a theme pub my Uncle owned, the dark princess that he had doing Sat/Sun afternoons made time every weekend to follow me into the cellar, unhook the front of her dungarees and hump my face as my gob fish mouthed its way around her brillo pad, she would laugh hoarsley then skip back upstairs whilst I leant over the barrells and flicked out a turbo w*nk....
Linky and I quote 'Silly Boy':
'There are a lot of applicable 'firsts', the first time I ate a girl out was at the foot of the Draymans Ramp in a pub I had got a Saturday job in slinging barrels about, being a general dogs body and sweeping up. It was a half caste girl called Rayne with a face like a Mexican boxer but the body of Florence Griffiths Joyner, she put one foot on a stool, unbuckled the front of her dungarees and dry humped my confused mouth making a hissing 'yeeaaahh' noise whilst the Jive Bunny Megamix throbbed away above us, she did it 3 f*cking times as well over that month, each time leaving me to watch her sashay back up to the Tap Room re-buttoning up her ridiculous hip hop gear before I shot out of view and ripped the top of my lollipop off in a dark corner of a grotty Cellar'


How peculiar.
 
#19
chalice said:
Juan_Ramirez_III said:
Ive recently 'gone black', ...

I should have forseen this, my first job ever was clearing ashtrays, collecting bottles/glasses and humping gear around a theme pub my Uncle owned, the dark princess that he had doing Sat/Sun afternoons made time every weekend to follow me into the cellar, unhook the front of her dungarees and hump my face as my gob fish mouthed its way around her brillo pad, she would laugh hoarsley then skip back upstairs whilst I leant over the barrells and flicked out a turbo w*nk....
Linky and I quote 'Silly Boy':
'There are a lot of applicable 'firsts', the first time I ate a girl out was at the foot of the Draymans Ramp in a pub I had got a Saturday job in slinging barrels about, being a general dogs body and sweeping up. It was a half caste girl called Rayne with a face like a Mexican boxer but the body of Florence Griffiths Joyner, she put one foot on a stool, unbuckled the front of her dungarees and dry humped my confused mouth making a hissing 'yeeaaahh' noise whilst the Jive Bunny Megamix throbbed away above us, she did it 3 f*cking times as well over that month, each time leaving me to watch her sashay back up to the Tap Room re-buttoning up her ridiculous hip hop gear before I shot out of view and ripped the top of my lollipop off in a dark corner of a grotty Cellar'


How peculiar.
BUSTED :clap:

Get the beers JR III you plagiarising little scroat!!!
 
#20
chalice said:
Juan_Ramirez_III said:
Ive recently 'gone black', ...

I should have forseen this, my first job ever was clearing ashtrays, collecting bottles/glasses and humping gear around a theme pub my Uncle owned, the dark princess that he had doing Sat/Sun afternoons made time every weekend to follow me into the cellar, unhook the front of her dungarees and hump my face as my gob fish mouthed its way around her brillo pad, she would laugh hoarsley then skip back upstairs whilst I leant over the barrells and flicked out a turbo w*nk....
Linky and I quote 'Silly Boy':
'There are a lot of applicable 'firsts', the first time I ate a girl out was at the foot of the Draymans Ramp in a pub I had got a Saturday job in slinging barrels about, being a general dogs body and sweeping up. It was a half caste girl called Rayne with a face like a Mexican boxer but the body of Florence Griffiths Joyner, she put one foot on a stool, unbuckled the front of her dungarees and dry humped my confused mouth making a hissing 'yeeaaahh' noise whilst the Jive Bunny Megamix throbbed away above us, she did it 3 f*cking times as well over that month, each time leaving me to watch her sashay back up to the Tap Room re-buttoning up her ridiculous hip hop gear before I shot out of view and ripped the top of my lollipop off in a dark corner of a grotty Cellar'


How peculiar.
Hmmm, I too have noticed a similarity in the styles of JR3 and "ahem" Silly Boy... I wonder if they're related by any chance?
 

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