Found a Genie Bottle? What would you wish for?

#1
OKay. Its Sunday morning and the trouble and strife has finally moaned at you long enough to encourage you to dig up that feckin big bush in the garden. Whilst diggin you find a strange coloured bottle covered in mud. After a brief rub a big feckin Genie pops out and offers to grant you 3 wishes. What would you wish for? 8O

Mine would be something like this:

1. A 20 bedroom mansion in the countryside with a full house staff, including Natilie Portman as my personal bath asistant, Kirsten Dunst as my maid, Kelly Brook as my butler, Rebecca Loos and Abby Titmus to replace the wife.

2. An orchard of money trees, each tree producing a million a week

3. The walls of my sprawling 1500 acres of my estate would have huge walls with spikes containing every member of the labour party's heads.

:D
 
#2
1. The slow and lingering death of some users on here (and their family).

2. The slow and lingering death of my ex-wife and her family.

3. A comfy chair so I can watch any or all of the above.
 

Auld-Yin

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#3
Gunny Highway said:
1. The slow and lingering death of some users on here (and their family).

2. The slow and lingering death of my ex-wife and her family.

3. A comfy chair so I can watch any or all of the above.
Nice 3 liner - MDN would be proud of you!

1. Working on this for you using alcohol to slow down the process
2. Same here but not the family - they are fine
3. Bollox to the comfy chair, just video it and I will watch it in the pub.
 
#4
lawstudent said:
I would wish for my boyfriend and all his colleagues to come home safe and well from Iraq

I would wish to hold him in my arms and never let him go

I would wish for my friend laid x to will a million pounds and have all his wishes come true

I would wish for all these mods on here to go on an all expenses holiday with all there wishes they want to come true because they seemed so stressed
They said 3 wishes ya thick bint!

1, To be happy for the rest of my life not wanting for anything.
2, Dullards to die and stop bothering people of this site.
3, To never be botherd by bible/koran bashing freaks in the street of any religion
 
#5
lawstudent said:
I would wish for my boyfriend and all his colleagues to come home safe and well from Iraq

I would wish for my friend laid x to will a million pounds and have all his wishes come true

I would wish for all these mods on here to go on an all expenses holiday with all there wishes they want to come true because they seemed so stressed
You really don't get the concept of the NAAFI do you?
 
#6
1. Maria Sharapova and Anna Kournikova, overdosing on Viagra and alco-pops, covered in gravy.

2. Large amount of money (enough to keep Maria and Anna in viagra and alco-pops for the next 15 years)

3. A slow, lingering, painful death to Blair and the WMF, live on tv complete with a "press the red button if you want to see another red hot poker shoved up the ugly bitch's chuff" option
 
#7
1. A toilet seat upholstered with Bliar's hide.

2. The Wicked Witch's skull as a spittoon.

3. The ability to participate directly in the procurement of the above items!
 
#8
1. I would wish that every other wish I ever made came true :)

2. I would allow "little rtfq" to get his way with "the bird" in the mess........ As long as we got to here all about it :)

3. A Tory Government
 
#9
Make lawstudent go away.

And Yannie.

And the rest of the trolls and dullards.

Yours, Sluggy.
 
#10
1) for the NAAFI to be as it was, before dullards sh@t all over it, and before someone allowed the Hitler-mods to delete banter and dullard-bashing.

2) For Auld_Sapper to pull his thumb out and publish

3) For some device to zap those who displease me over the medium of the internet - causing extreme pain, but no lasting damage, so I can do it again.
 
#11
Oh, can I have another wish?

I wish my lazy arrse of a sister (juniorslug) would get her saggy arrse out of bed. Then beat up some dullards.

(Was that 5 wishes in total?)
 
#12
At this moment in time I wish that my Mrs would make up her mind what she wants to do today, couple of pints in the pub or a nice walk in the countryside, hurry up woman or I`ll make the decision for you[/i] :roll:
 
#14
1) Big house with an even bigger amount of land included in the deal.

2) Instant bestseller status for anything I write (thereby guaranteeing a steady income as well as the excuse to spend all day writing stuff)

3) Rachel Weisz, stranded in the countryside (and the big house featured in #1 is the only one for miles) and insatiably randy :twisted:
 
#15
1) The ability to play guitar like a Rock God!

2)All left wing toss pieces to be shot.

3) Hangover free beer
 
#16
1. A large pod type machine, which allows me to climb into it after a month on the lash eating nothing but junk food, and turns me into the fit and trim person i was when i was 18.

2. Largeish house in the country, near the coast with a couple of acres of land (Mortgage free of course).

3. A government that understands the needs of defence, and accepts the responsibility it has towards its most important asset - Its personnell.

Das ist allas,

Boney
 
#17
First and only wish from the Genie would be that all my wishes in the future come true. :mrgreen:

No need for any of his other wishes then eh? :wink:
 
#18
1: An exemption from the Law of Unintended Consequences (cos in films & in Sabrina the Teenage Witch all the wishes go wrong & have to be undone, wasting a wish)
2: An infinite number of further wishes
3: Blair to die horribly and painfully
4: WMF to do likewise
5: Then broon
6: Then prescott
7: Cold beer on tap in my home
etc etc etc
 

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