Forgetting who you are talking to... what have you done?

the other day... me, my mum, my sister and her fella were having a chat and me mum was going on about how grumpy her man (not my dad her new husband) is of late... so in true Disco Dan fasion I suggested she go and get nasty in the bedroom... to which my mum replied "I would if I could love but the boat went out ages ago, I am like the sahara desert downstairs, I dried up ages ago". To which I replied "your ricker has'nt dried up!"... with this sister stands up in disgust and walks out... her fella chokes on his coffee he is swigging and spray's the dining room. My mum?... what does she do?... pisses herself laughing and cant move for the next fifteen minutes because of uncontrolable fits of laughter and un scheduled water movements.

I love my mum... but what I said was just one of them "forgot who I was talking to quotes"... but at least she could laugh about it.
Classic - (note to self, don't suggest at the dinner table that my dad should kick my mums back door in!!! Discodan said it doesn't go down well as topical conversation!!)
Not quite talking, but once after eating a meal at my parents-in-law I did the most impressive wall-vibrating belch.

I once told an 6/10 on offensive racist scale joke (it wasn't "why did the roman's build straight roads?", but let's pretend it was) to a certain Brigadier, later DRA, who was known by the nickname "Paki Pete". Fortunately he had his subaltern screen up and wasn't really listening to me. My battery commander was though...six of the best for Cuddles, with a Pam 18 down me trousers!
Went to watch Life Of Brian with girlfriend and her mother. Completely forgot about mother and during the scene when Brians girlfriend strolls around naked, I remarked that her bush was just like girlfriends bush. Still remember icy stare from the mother.

Similar threads

Latest Threads