Forest Fr1ends

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Actually I’m quite a fan.


Not buggery tho…
 

Chef

LE
. . . except buggery and Morris Dancing . . .
I'd heard that as incest and Morris Dancing. I confess that outside The Trout and Tipple near Tavistock I indulged in a bit of Morris Dancing.

However I was young and misled by people who should have known better. I would also point out that while I and Mrs Chef may have banged sticks together neither of us wore bells or waved hankies about.

it was a long time ago and we have drawn a line under it and moved on. I have no further comment to make on the subject and regard the matter as closed.

Thank you.
 

Donny

ADC
I'd heard that as incest and Morris Dancing. I confess that outside The Trout and Tipple near Tavistock I indulged in a bit of Morris Dancing.

However I was young and misled by people who should have known better. I would also point out that while I and Mrs Chef may have banged sticks together neither of us wore bells or waved hankies about.

it was a long time ago and we have drawn a line under it and moved on. I have no further comment to make on the subject and regard the matter as closed.

Thank you.
‘I understand the honourable gentleman’s political point, but it would be best for him to wait until Sue Gray has completed her investigation into the alleged Morris dancing, so that the facts are clear..’ ;)
 

Endoscope

LE
Book Reviewer
I'd heard that as incest and Morris Dancing. I confess that outside The Trout and Tipple near Tavistock I indulged in a bit of Morris Dancing.

However I was young and misled by people who should have known better. I would also point out that while I and Mrs Chef may have banged sticks together neither of us wore bells or waved hankies about.

it was a long time ago and we have drawn a line under it and moved on. I have no further comment to make on the subject and regard the matter as closed.

Thank you.
No ones judging mate
 
I'd heard that as incest and Morris Dancing. I confess that outside The Trout and Tipple near Tavistock I indulged in a bit of Morris Dancing.

However I was young and misled by people who should have known better. I would also point out that while I and Mrs Chef may have banged sticks together neither of us wore bells or waved hankies about.

it was a long time ago and we have drawn a line under it and moved on. I have no further comment to make on the subject and regard the matter as closed.

Thank you.
Did you slip and fall into a set of bells and, while reaching out to regain your balance, happen to grab hold of a handkerchief and stout bit of wood? Then, while overcompensating and falling forwards, you happened to repeatedly strike said stick against someone else who had coincidentally had the same misfortune?

It would be more believable than some of the stuff coming out of Downing Street recently.
 
Did you slip and fall into a set of bells and, while reaching out to regain your balance, happen to grab hold of a handkerchief and stout bit of wood? Then, while overcompensating and falling forwards, you happened to repeatedly strike said stick against someone else who had coincidentally had the same misfortune?

Ah. The age old tired excuse in A&E when you get your knob stuck in the vacuum cleaner or get a courgette stuck up your jacksie.

Patient: "I was doing the hoovering with no clothes on Doctor and slipped over and my thingy got stuck"
Doctor: "Yes of course you were Mr Smith"

Meanwhile all the A&E nurses have come over to gawp at the victim and are pissing themselves laughing despite this being the eighty first time they have heard this argument.
 

Chef

LE
‘I understand the honourable gentleman’s political point, but it would be best for him to wait until Sue Gray has completed her investigation into the alleged Morris dancing, so that the facts are clear..’ ;)
I would like to thank yourself and other members of the house of Arrse @Endoscope and @Ortholith for your continued confidence in myself during these troubled times. I was naive and let down by those who should have known better, I will iterate that I broke no laws and have done nothing wrong.

I will, however, be stepping back from some of my more public duties to spend more time with my family who are fully aware of the situation and continue to support me in my career.
 
Ah. The age old tired excuse in A&E when you get your knob stuck in the vacuum cleaner or get a courgette stuck up your jacksie.

Patient: "I was doing the hoovering with no clothes on Doctor and slipped over and my thingy got stuck"
Doctor: "Yes of course you were Mr Smith"

Meanwhile all the A&E nurses have come over to gawp at the victim and are pissing themselves laughing despite this being the eighty first time they have heard this argument.

“Well Mr Tedsson, it’s lucky the courgette was already liberally coated with KY jelly or that would really have hurt!”
 
I would like to thank yourself and other members of the house of Arrse @Endoscope and @Ortholith for your continued confidence in myself during these troubled times. I was naive and let down by those who should have known better, I will iterate that I broke no laws and have done nothing wrong.

I will, however, be stepping back from some of my more public duties to spend more time with my family who are fully aware of the situation and continue to support me in my career.

I once actually managed to do the one foot on the bank/one foot on the boat comedy routine in Iffley Lock near Oxford. Only other boat in the lock was full of Morris dancers on some sort of annual day out.

It‘s quite difficult to upstage an entire boat full of Morris dancers in the looking-like-an-utter-twat stakes, but I managed it.
 
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