Sat in the throne room earlier, contemplating those important questions in life like "I don't remember eating sweet corn, so where did it come from?", and flicking through the some reading material. In fear of being ragged for evermore, I have to admit it was one of those girlie, Womanâs Own type mags, but being a modern sort of guy even I can learn a thing or two about vaginal thrush etc. Anyway, there was an article about how lousy guys are at "foreplay" and it got me thinking, what the feck constitutes foreplay? Is it buying her a vodka and redbull on a first date? or is it a bit advanced like slipping your hand down her knickers for a five-fingered shuffle? I guess it is also dependant on what part of the country you come from e.g. Jock foreplay probably consists of a couple of slaps round the chops followed by a "Yer geena get it the noo hen!" or Welsh foreplay is probably no more than getting her on all-fours! I don't know, and I would hate to think that I'm spoiling Mrs Speckled with too much of a "starter" before the "Main-course". So, whatâs it all about?