Foreplay! whats that all about?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by SpeckledJim, Nov 12, 2005.

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  1. Sat in the throne room earlier, contemplating those important questions in life like "I don't remember eating sweet corn, so where did it come from?", and flicking through the some reading material. In fear of being ragged for evermore, I have to admit it was one of those girlie, Woman’s Own type mags, but being a modern sort of guy even I can learn a thing or two about vaginal thrush etc. Anyway, there was an article about how lousy guys are at "foreplay" and it got me thinking, what the feck constitutes foreplay? Is it buying her a vodka and redbull on a first date? or is it a bit advanced like slipping your hand down her knickers for a five-fingered shuffle? I guess it is also dependant on what part of the country you come from e.g. Jock foreplay probably consists of a couple of slaps round the chops followed by a "Yer geena get it the noo hen!" or Welsh foreplay is probably no more than getting her on all-fours! I don't know, and I would hate to think that I'm spoiling Mrs Speckled with too much of a "starter" before the "Main-course". So, what’s it all about?
  2. am i meant to be moist at this? being a jock i mean :lol:
  3. Lol, sounds like you need to be buying the wife a better class of'll get far more info about fore play from the likes of cosmo.....

  4. I blame the ease of acquiring porno movies these days.. no longer is it nasty stuff in plain brown wrappers quietly delivered late at night.just for the guys' enjoyment .... now you can get the stuff delivered to to womern all wrapped up in froufrou to your door as ' personal sexual enhancement aids ' all endorsed by some female empowerment ' doctor ' and Oprah approved.. You can even buy the sexual health appliances in Walmart and leading pharmacies FFS!!.. What this does is give the women a false sense of what they should be expecting.. they figure they'll be just like the plastic babes in the film all ooh and ahhhs and much sweating and twisting screaming and writhing until they squeal and collapse all satisfied having ' directed' or ' encouraged' their partner to find the right spot or best position to help them achieve orgasm [ its always about them ]..

    ruined a good thing.. hell, every man knows you got - what? - two three minutes top before you blow your load after she wiggles ber butt and unleashes her puppies in your face...just enough time to get in it during the commercial breaks before the next period/inning/quarter/half gets underway on the Satuirday afternoon sports event..

    women's lib feminists all trying to ' read into ' a basic itch/scratch primal urge' some deep pycho babble ritualistic bafflegab...Its sex get horny, you do it, move on...nothing complicated...

    foreplay..what about a guy's need for ' afterplay?.. a little post coiltal rub and tug to free up some leftover 'buildup '.. that replenishing of energy with a quick snack of a nice meaty sandwich and a beer?

    people always got to make things more complicated..its instinct, a primal urge.. get on with it.. who has time for foreplay anyway when we're working 80 hours a week to keep them in Versace ..?
  5. Perhaps the mag pointed him in the right direction :D

    The difference is, with good foreplay, your lady would be lying there so excited that she'll be eager to pleasure you in return, or with bad foreplay, lying there thinking of England and any other bloke. Unfortunately, I have been in both situ's. :wink:
  6. Foreplay doesnt have to cost you the price of a drink neitheror be a quick five finger shuffle! If you are having a "naughty night" you can start the foreplay as early as the morning with the odd cheeky messages throughout the day, so by the time you get home, you are........ well........ need I say more! :D
  7. left some cheeky messages once.. the babysitter got all upset when the wife came home before me and found her wrapped in saran wrap and wearing a toque...
  8. I thought fore play was something to do with GOLF !!!!
  9. Is that what your husband tell's you sunflower?

  10. I fcuking love foreplay.....

    In fact almost an embarrasing confession, but on one occasion Ive ended up blowing my beans all over the bedding whilst going down on a lady garden. thankfully we'd been at it all day and had already bolted a couple of times so was able to disguise it :D

    I could eat beaver all day long, can't get enough of it...... got to be a nice pretty one though, not one that looks like Fred West set about it with a snap on tool kit.
  11. MDN thought you were a backdoor gunner not a muff diver...
  12. Top tip. Nothing too strenuous, yep, I reckon I could cope with that. I wonder if I could get Mrs SJ to get things started on her own and I'll just come in on the end (cus pun's). Thinking about it, women have it easy, all they have to do is flash a bit of boob or leg, and hey presto, game on. No worries about "fore-play" there. As for us poor 'ole guys, where in the sweet shop do we start first?
  13. So I can stick to just taking my socks off then?
  14. ooh la la, look at Mr Sophisticated! I'll be keeping my socks on thank you very much
  15. FACT: women always want a 'man' (dominant member of the species)hence silver back gorilla etc.

    FACT: A man (dominant) is someone who spreads his genetic material (seed) about in as many females of the species as possible in the troop/tribe/area.

    So who has time for foreplay? should be in/out move on to the next filly/totty.

    I know .... I have been watching too much David Attenbourough/World About Us :)