Foreign Wives

#1
Bless em.

My better half has to deal with three languages on daily basis and it messes her pretty little head right up.

She speaks Thai to her Mother and all her Asian cronnies, she speaks German at work and of course English to me. Now, the Thai and German she speaks fluently but I would say her English is at about 85% which gives me a constant source of amusement. Not as much as it used to because her English keeps improving but here is two of her good ones from yesterday;

"Honey, I've put the wet clothes in the trumble driver!"

"If I get hungry later I will just **** a pizza in the oven!"

There must be good few of you married to foreigners who keep destroying the English Language?

Do tell!
 

Legs

ADC
Book Reviewer
#2
Plenty of English wives (and soldiers for that matter) who destroy the English Language, let alone any foreign types.
 
#4
mine can barely speak english, she's frm oxford. Consider yourself lucky. Does she indulge you by loving long time whilst whispering filthy german phrases picked up at the local kraut S&M club?
 
#5
mine can barely speak english, she's frm oxford. Consider yourself lucky. Does she indulge you by loving long time whilst whispering filthy german phrases picked up at the local kraut S&M club?
Haha.

I remeber when we first got married the movie "Full Metal Jacket" was on the telly. She thought the bit with the Vietnamese hooker was funny as ****. For ages afterwards she was giving it "Me love you long time, five dollar sucky sucky!"

Great it was! I will need to make her watch that again!
 
#6
The wife now speaks pretty good english, but yes, her destruction of the english language was often the source of hilarity in the early days.
 
#8
Mine's from Liverpool, she destroys the english language with every utterance from her lovely mouth.
 
#9
Mine loves to rub my nose in the fact her IELTS score was higher than my practice one.

She still can't tell the difference between 'hope' and 'wish' so the possibilities for creative misunderstandings are enormous.

If it's been sent from my HTC Sensation using Tapatalk then I'm probably pissed.
 
#11
1BW Wives' Club supper, Hong Kong, circa 1986. Mrs CO is asked by the Belizian "wife of" next to her to "pass the ****in' salt". Well, its how her Jock spoke to her and she thought it was the "correct" way to spikka da Inglish....
 
#13
"I hope you would stop doing that."

If it's been sent from my HTC Sensation using Tapatalk then I'm probably pissed.
 
#14
She speaks English better than me. Being British, I can't speak her language, haven't bothered learning, but I do draw the line at shouting loudly to compensate.
Is that her in your avatar? Or would that be wishful thinking on your part?
 
#16
It's not all bad, it took my current German awful dreaded, Mrs Cernunnos No. 4 Mk1a, three full years to work out what "lazy dippy cloth eared ******* kraut bitch" really meant, bless her.

Her predecessor in the role of avenging angel, Mrs Cernunnos No. 3 MkI, also a screaming valkyrie, failed to take L.O.A into account when carving at our combined income, I told her I had to pay that.
 
#17
Well that is interesting. Isn’t it? If you have a foreign wife you can learn their culture and language as well. And I guess you two can be the perfect couple among your friends. I like to have a foreign wife too.
You are all ready foreign.
 
#19
One of the sometimes disconcerting things about having a wife whose mother tongue is not English is that, having studied the language formally, they often have a sounder grounding in English grammar than someone who has spoken the language from childhood.

The wife and I were on a visit to Kipling's former house, now a National Trust property.

I mentioned the old atrocious chestnut about "Do you like Kipling?"/Can't say, I've never Kippled"

Not even a groan from her.

me: Did you understand that?
wife: No
me [launches into explanation]
wife: Oh! now I see, you're using a proper noun as a verb in its gerund and past tense forms.
me: er....yes..um...I think so.
 

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