• ARRSE have partnered with Armadillo Merino to bring you an ARRSE exclusive, generous discount offer on their full price range.
    To keep you warm with the best of Merino gear, visit www.armadillomerino.co.uk and use the code: NEWARRSE40 at the checkout to get 40% off!
    This superb deal has been generously offered to us by Armadillo Merino and is valid until midnight on the the 28th of February.

Foreign Language Syndrome

#1
Just heard a really weird piece on the radio (4 FM Cork) about an English woman who woke up one morning and started speaking in a foreign accent.

Very strange wind up me thinks. But no, fuck me, ‘tis true.

She was interviewed and said that she awoke one morning and sounded like an Eastern European, another day it was French, this mornings latest incarnation sounded just like the bird behind the counter at my local Chinese Take-Away.

Apparently she is only the 66th person in the world diagnosed with this unfortunate ailment, which got me thinking…

If you were to awake one fine morning, going about your ablutions in the normal manner, totally unaware that you had been afflicted, whistling along to the fine tune on the radio, and going through the finer details in your head covering that very very important presentation you were due to give at 0900hrs to the very very important Foreign Investors & Company Directors…

What accent would you prefer to blurt out to a stunned audience?
 
#4
It's one of those new fangled conditions that people have "invented" to try and claim compensation.

Like Asperger's Syndrome, dyslexia, tourettes and gang rape.
 
#7
Just had a quick look on google - sounds like a feasible disorder to me - I understood what I read to say that it's not as much that they are mimicking an accent, but brain damage results in difficulty producing sounds/tones etc when speaking - sounding like they are speaking with a different accent.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foreign_accent_syndrome

Other well-known cases of foreign accent syndrome include one that occurred in Norway in 1941 after a young woman, Astrid L., suffered a head injury from shrapnel during an air-raid. After apparently recovering from the injury she was left with what sounded like a strong German accent and was shunned by her fellow Norwegians
:D
 
#8
natotattie said:
It's one of those new fangled conditions that people have "invented" to try and claim compensation.

Like Asperger's Syndrome, dyslexia, tourettes and gang rape.
Brilliant!

(Although you forgot ADHD - invented by lazy parents who can't be arrsed to control their kids.)
 
#10
During the period of my Army Service which saw me posted to Aldershot, I often found I was speaking a different language, whenever I arrived at Henrix Pizza shop at 11.30pm. I was absolutely certain that I was saying,

"Good evening warm bread man. May I have a large ham and mushroom pizza, with extra mushroom please?"

Henrix took the liberty of writing down what I actually said to him one Saturday night

"Bllooooooarrggh. LARJAMANMUSHROONWI'EXTRAMUSHYA Bllooooooargh"

He was certain, that when I was bevvied, I was reverting to some sort of proto-Indo-European lingo, which made me feel quite intelligent.
 
#12
Shortly after stopping drinking..... I started to understand conversational French and fancied most gwar birds that cross my path.....

oh... the quest for a french red head.....
 
#13
Arte_et_Marte said:
Just heard a really weird piece on the radio (4 FM Cork) about an English woman who woke up one morning and started speaking in a foreign accent.

Very strange wind up me thinks. But no, fuck me, ‘tis true.

She was interviewed and said that she awoke one morning and sounded like an Eastern European, another day it was French, this mornings latest incarnation sounded just like the bird behind the counter at my local Chinese Take-Away.

Apparently she is only the 66th person in the world diagnosed with this unfortunate ailment, which got me thinking…

If you were to awake one fine morning, going about your ablutions in the normal manner, totally unaware that you had been afflicted, whistling along to the fine tune on the radio, and going through the finer details in your head covering that very very important presentation you were due to give at 0900hrs to the very very important Foreign Investors & Company Directors…

What accent would you prefer to blurt out to a stunned audience?
Safa. it makes the words "Oi fcuk of my land or i'll shoot you" actually sound like you mean it as oppossed to west cournty oooarr which makes you sound retarded.
 
#14
Apparently I revert to speaking French (which I've never learnt) when I'm high.

Lying on a hospital trolly in casualty after smashing my shoulder joint into 3 parts. The curtains are pulled back by my mates, to be greeted by me swinging the oxygen mask around my head, saying rather loudly "Bonjour, mes amis", smashed off my tits on morphine, gas, and air.
 
#16
My wife gets it when she's angry. Starts going off like some angry drunk Northern Broad. To a Dutchman that's pretty foreign and a clear sign to keep a safe distance!

Then again, when I get drunk I revert to a Rotterdam accent, which seems to piss the easterners that I live and work amongst off. A good reason for me to have another one!
 
#17
My kids do it when they get upset. They start talking in bat language - so high pitched and fast that no human ear can understand it.

I do it every morning before coffee, I think it is called "miserable grumpy fecker".
 
#18
Kaye said:
My wife gets it when she's angry. Starts going off like some angry drunk Northern Broad. To a Dutchman that's pretty foreign and a clear sign to keep a safe distance!

Then again, when I get drunk I revert to a Rotterdam accent, which seems to piss the easterners that I live and work amongst off. A good reason for me to have another one!

Fcuk off hooligan! :)


P.s I like your wife's accent... :twisted:
 
#19
Apparently the wife tells me that when I used to get truely pissed I would go through my languages in order of fluency with the results getting better with each change, thus English early in the night, start to slurr 'click' LANGUAGE CHANGE, now French until that degrades 'click' LANGUAGE CHANGE, finally perfect German (which I normally struggle with). I have since added Dutch to my list but haven't got pissed enough to see where that slots in....
 
#20
Croque_Monsieur said:
Apparently the wife tells me that when I used to get truely pissed I would go through my languages in order of fluency with the results getting better with each change, thus English early in the night, start to slurr 'click' LANGUAGE CHANGE, now French until that degrades 'click' LANGUAGE CHANGE, finally perfect German (which I normally struggle with). I have since added Dutch to my list but haven't got pissed enough to see where that slots in....
To coin a phrase "Go Dutch early" they always sound half p1ssed all the time anyway so you should be good to go. :)
 

Latest Threads