Mate of mine living in Walthemstow E17 sits up once a month with an air rifle picking off the foxes, apparently they make quite a racket at night and he's not one who suffers sleep-depravation lightly.
Sneaky bastards foxes. When I was in basic training a fox stole my beret, which of course the troop sgt believed to be the worst excuse he'd ever heard for being diffy kit. Cue double bollocking for losing headdress and being a lying shit. Oh and looking like a twat cutting about wearing a helmet. I know all about trauma at the hands of foxes.
A Muslim fox stole my car and is also responsible for most of the drug dealing in Bath and the surrounding area. It is an illegal immigrant fox, as far as we can tell, and moved to the area just after the hunting ban came into force. He is living in council premises and has several ilegitimate children by a number of different mothers, all living in council dens. He has been arrsted several times for theft and assault against the chicken but has never so much as received a caution.
Yet you tell the newspapers this and they don't believe you. Except of course the Daily Mail.
Mr D - that vixen is well known around Reigate. Apart from her self-destructive crack habit, she has frequently murdered ddefenceless kittens before seducing well meaning military personnel back to her den for sexual favours for money. On this occasion you were lucky not to succumb - although you may be being economical with the truth. Other soldiers ended up in the QE at Woolwich with Cat AIDS after "enjoying" her favours. The dirty vulpine bitch.
No foxhounds were harmed in the creation of this image, gardens trespassed in or ginger tomcats mistakenly done to death. The average income of the hunt members was surprisingly low and their ocupations included manual, professional and frankly spurious trades like the media. Everyone enjoyed a few cherry brandies and a day out in the Gloucestershire countryside particularly our colleagues from the Bristol LACS, who frankly should move out here the amount of time they seem to spend here with their cameras and such.
If this story is true, then the parents have my sympathy.
However, am I the only one, who's just a tad sceptical about a fox entering the ground floor (whilst TV on etc) and making it's way upstairs to the kids room.....................................thus bypassing the main source of food in the house - the kitchen?????