Last night, following the gunners humiliating defeat to Wigan, it has been reported that Met Police are investigating the possability that an assassin was at work at Highbury, specificaly targeting ARSEnal player Reyes. Why he should be targeted is unclear, but the would be assassin is using a new weapon designed to make him look a fool, rather than kill him. He is especially clever as he timed his attacks to occur whenever a Wigan player was within a 2m radius of him. A Police spokesman said "We are particulary concerned. Every time an opponant went near Reyes he would fall over and roll around as if he had been shot from the clock end. It must be a new devise causing this-or he is just a diving T*&^t " ARSEnal manager, ARSEn Wenger stated - \"I did not see Reyes deliberatly push an opponant in front of my dug out, which might have been a sending off offence, but I did see he was clearly targeted by everyone all over the pitch, even though I had my head in my hands"