food for thought

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by Poppy, Dec 6, 2004.

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  1. Subject: FW: FOOD FOR THOUGHT.....





    1. If a person with multiple

    personalities threatens suicide is

    that considered a hostage

    situation?



    2. Just think how much deeper the

    ocean would be if sponges didn't live

    there.



    3. So what's the speed of dark?



    5. If you're sending someone some

    Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?



    6. I just got skylights put in my

    place. The people who live above me

    are furious.



    7. Why do they sterilize needles for

    lethal injections?



    8. Do they have reserved parking

    for non-handicapped people at the

    Special Olympics?



    9. Isn't Disney World a people trap

    operated by a mouse?



    10. Since light travels faster than

    sound, isn't that why some people

    appear bright until you hear them

    speak?



    11. If it's zero degrees outside today

    and it's supposed to be twice as cold

    tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?



    12. Why do you press harder on a

    remote-control when you know the

    battery is weak?



    13. Since Americans throw rice at

    weddings, do Asians throw

    hamburgers?



    14. Why are they called buildings,

    when they're already finished?

    Shouldn't they be called builts?



    15. Why are they called

    apartments, when they're all stuck

    together?



    16. Why do banks charge you a "in-

    sufficient funds fee" on money

    they already know you don't have?



    17. If the universe is everything,

    and scientists say that the universe

    is expanding, what is it expanding

    into?



    18. What would a chair look like if

    your knees bent the other way?



    19. If a tree falls in the forest and no

    one is around to see it, do the other

    trees make fun of it?



    20. Why is a carrot more orange

    than an orange?



    21. Why do scientists call it research

    when looking for something new?



    22. If "con" is the opposite of "pro,"

    then what is the opposite of

    progress?



    23. Why is it lemon juice contains

    mostly artificial ingredients, but

    dishwashing liquid contains real

    lemons?



    24. Why do we wait until a pig is dead

    to "cure" it?



    25. Why do we wash bath towels?

    Aren't we clean when we use them?



    26. Why doesn't glue stick to the

    inside of the bottle?



    27. Do Roman paramedics refer to

    IV's as "4's"?



    28. What do little birdies see when

    they get knocked unconscious?



    29. Why doesn't Tarzan have a

    beard?



    30. If man evolved from monkeys

    and apes, why do we still have

    monkeys and apes?



    31. Do married people live longer

    than single people, or does it just

    SEEM longer?



    32. War doesn't determine who's

    right, just who's left