Fly In My Ear.

[Drivers_lag]

No Duff.

At least, I think it's a fly. I was lying under the open Velux window and reached over for something, exposing my earhole for a moment. Something landed on my ear and I swatted at it - next thing you know, there was a bit of a rattle and a buzzing noise and there's a fcuking fly in my ear. I think it's a very small one that sounds loud because it's right up against my eardrum.

Anyway, of course, I flapped like feck and tried turning my ear t'other way and slapping my head. No joy. And getting a bottle of water to sluice it out. Nope. The buzzing just sounded a bit wetter. Then I remembered something about being advised to clean out your ears with a few drops of Olive Oil so I went to the kitchen and poured in a couple of capfuls. Have you ever tried pouring something into your ear? Most of it ended up on my face and the kitchen floor but the buzzing stopped at least.

So now I've got a dead fly in my ear and no idea how big it is - anyone got any ideas how to get rid of it? Dr is £50 a throw here and I'm not paying that for a mozzie.

 

[CivvyLurker]

 

[Flatt Stanley]

Shirley, suck up Nancy?

I assume that's what the syringe is for?

 

[vvaannmmaann]

 

[Legs]

 

[EX_STAB]

Have you tried removing it with chopsticks?

 

[Stan_Da_Bout]

On a note of sanity in this mad world, just leave it. Ear wax will build up around it naturally and gunge out at some stage.

That will be £30 please ... Next!

 

[jarrod248]

Nip over I'll syringe it.


Posted from the ARRSE Mobile app (iOS or Android)

 

[Djelli Beybii]

Have you got a vacuum cleaner with a hose attachment?
Stick it over your lughole and suck the little bugger out.

*this may or may not be scientifically proven and is undertaken at your own risk*

 

[big ned]

Nip over I'll syringe it.


Posted from the ARRSE Mobile app (iOS or Android)

Using his tongue.....

 

[The_Snail]

Send me your bank account details and I'll send you £2 a month.

That's what they do for people with flies in their eyes isn't it?

 

[uncle_vanya]

Hmm, have you tried using your Penis Enlarger devise you bought from Ebay.... just stick the end over one's ear, that start pumping the 'suck it and see' end...... if it don't remove the fly, it will will be exquisite and you will become over excited, and Nurse will have to shove some more Bromide in your tea...... there....... take 2 Asprins and go back and see the quack in the morning!!

 

[jarrod248]

Get that fat bird to give you another kicking that should dislodge it.


Posted from the ARRSE Mobile app (iOS or Android)

 

[The_Snail]

DL, are you sure it's dead? It might just be having a little snooze.


After laying lots of little baby flies in your inner ear that will eat into your brain and eyeballs.

You are hereby known, from this day forward, as Maggotty Head.

 

[Drivers_lag]

DL, are you sure it's dead? It might just be having a little snooze.


After laying lots of little baby flies in your inner ear that will eat into your brain and eyeballs.

You are hereby known, from this day forward, as Maggotty Head.

I don't know if it's bloody dead or not.

It's stopped buzzing is all I can tell you.

 

[ooooh_matron]

Pour molten bronze in to the ear canal and when it has cooled pull the nugget out with the fly contained within.

The less dramatic use melted wax but I think a trip to the nurse might be safer.

 

[Drivers_lag]

Pour molten bronze in to the ear canal and when it has cooled pull the nugget out with the fly contained within.

The less dramatic use melted wax but I think a trip to the nurse might be safer.

I'm not paying £50 for a mozzie. I was hoping it'd come out with the olive oil, but I'm not even sure if the olive oil came out. Having something buzzing in your head tends to make you do things in a bit of a hurry.

Now I've probably got a head full of olive oil as well as a dead fly.

 

[Djelli Beybii]

Stick a cotton bud in there, at least if it is alive you'll squash the fecker, and he'll leak out onto your pillow when you are asleep.

 

[Stan_Da_Bout]

As long as you don't have a perforated ear drum you'll be fine ... Probably.

 

[JoeCivvie]