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Flowers for a shag - Pies for a fatty.

#2
I used to use a company called Unirose who, for a fiver, would send a single, long-stemmed, red rose in a white satin-lined wooden box to the woman I fancied at any one time. Worked every time!
 
#3
I used to use a company called Unirose who, for a fiver, would send a single, long-stemmed, red rose in a white satin-lined wooden box to the woman I fancied at any one time. Worked every time!
I'm starting a company called Exrose which, for Five Hundred Quid, will send a single, long-stemmed, dead rose and a pine box to the woman you want out of your life.
 
#5
I'm starting a company called Exrose which, for Five Hundred Quid, will send a single, long-stemmed, dead rose and a pine box to the woman you want out of your life.
It's a sound business plan, but don't move into my territory and start sending long dead roadkill badgers to unloved persons.
 
#16
My missus doesn't like getting flowers. I thought it was because she didn't like killing their beauty but it's probably down to her not wanting to have sex.

Hell, I knew that already.
 
#19
Women are such dopes. If I buy one a bunch of flowers, I am guaranteed to get its knickers off. Actually, bouquet buying is quite a bit cheaper than using one of my regular hookers, which in these straitened times is something that cannot be ignored.
Takes more than a bunch of flowers. Half a bottle of Pimms should do it
 
#20
If anyone wants to send me flowers, PM for my address. No sexual favours of any kind will be given out in exchange (well, maybe, depends on the flowers) but I will think nice thoughts of you. :)
 

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