Flight BD 991 - Lively Delay

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Bumper, Jun 5, 2009.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. There are a number of crisis bubbling away at the moment and most are getting a lot of attention. This one isn't though and whilst it's not going to impact many lives, I fear it's going to leave lasting psychological and physical trauma on my American friend who is currently waiting to board flight BD 991 at Heathrow.

    Fight 991, which is full of football fans, should in fact have gone out yesterday but was delayed. Obviously, the football fans, who haven't stopped drinking since their flight was cancelled yesterday, are rather anxious to get going. My American chum, who finds himself as a sort of accidental tourist and is heading out on business, just sent this,

    "now I know what it felt like at the Embassy in Saigon in 1975 as the last choppers were leaving.."

    Poor sod, I had to love this earlier shocked message, "So far this morning, I have heard "c*nt" used as a noun, verb, adjective and adverb.....!" I wonder if he'll make it....

    Then he sent this:

    "Just seen my first proper English fan. 50 years old.....balding, grey hair around the edges....two huge earings...capri pants with huge cross of St. George on the side of his calf. I glanced at him as I walked by and he said, "what are looking at c*nt"? I can tell this is going to be a fun flight....."

    I really don't think he will make it........
  2. More "as it happens" updates,

    "Everyone is now standing at the gate. The England fan just glared at a huge Kazakh and made an insulting gesture. The Kazakh is with The Sunkar Division (Kazakh SF) and with 6 colleagues on their way back from training in Hereford. My guess is the England fan will be off-loaded in a body bag quietly from the back of the plane in Almaty....They overbooked the plane and have put the 6 biggest guys in the back row, which is half the width of the others and don't recline.....the riot is about to start...at this point, there are 6 people who will refuse to fly and they'll have to off-load all the baggage..

    One of the 6 guys is the chief FAA advisor to the Kazakhs.....he has already called his counterparts in Almaty. They're going to pull BMI's (new) license to fly routes to Kazakhstan....fun, fun, fun!"

    "We've already had the FAA representative (who is a passenger)swear on board to the senior BMI ground staff that the Kazakhs will be pulling BMI's license on Monday, as this is apparently the fourth time they've not had enough spares or alternate equipment to get a plane off the ground to Almaty.

    They just found out that they on-loaded one bag too many that they couldn't identify. After 30 minutes, they've found it, but we've missed our slot and the weather is horrendous at Heathrow.

    I'm sitting next to a Senior Staff Writer for the Telegraph and we've been writing some blinding copy for tomorrow's paper or the online edition.

    The best bet they now have is "we might get another slot in 40 minutes".....My very most optomistic guess is that we'll be in Almaty by midnight, but I wouldn't count on it.

    Mood on the flight is ugly.....P"
  3. oh this is good keep it up


    Riot ensues at Heathrow after six large Kazakh men physically dismantle plane with bare hands and what may or may not be the skull of an as yet unidentified English football fan after excessive delays and general fukaboutery force cancellation of flight.
  5. thanks mate. Sadly, I haven't had an update for a couple of hours, this was his last call -

    "The entire FIFA staff (officials and referees) are on the plane....we don't make it, there will be no match, as local officials are not approved by FIFA."

    Pete the American is either in the air then or he's in intensive care................... don't know which..

    Didn't expect the thread to get legs but thought it was fun to share. I've been racking my memory for any fun hold ups I've endured in the past but they just brought back desultory memories of train movements in BAOR that took 36 hrs to move 200 miles and endless hours hanging around Brize............. oh, and long fvcking tabs in the Uloo because the RAF couldn't make pick ups when a bit of drizzle was forecast....
  6. We don't pick up grunts that are going to dribble... Makes an awful mess on the seats you see...
  7. dont you have WOs to clean up after our 'awful' mess ??
  8. One of mine was Munster a 6 hour delay and a young jock sapper decides to hit the bottle of duty free Pasoa he bought. He ended up with the proverbial map of africa which was made more impressive in the fact hehad light coloured jeans on. In his confused state he didnt realise the toilets were 100 yards away and the poor mite could'nt hold on any longer. Last seen being escorted by Two unsmiling men in cheap suits
  9. as a little postscript to this, Pete the American made it to Almaty and sent this update this morning,

    "....at Uzbek wedding last night dancing with 80 year old toothless babushka grandmother. That, in the vernacular, is know as taking one for the team. Nothing like a bottle of vodka, followed by a long morning drive into the desert at 35C. Very nice sitting on the East side of the car....they're going to have to turn around or I'll be well done on one side and rare on the other...........P"