Flicking the bean

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by essexbob, Jun 6, 2005.

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  1. Just had a conversation with a mate.

    Under discussion was the best tounge to clit technique.

    I have always favoured the tip of my tounge writing my name across and around the clit with a quick probe now and again into the love tunnel. His alternative method, allegedly as I have never seen it, is the full length of the tounge up and down said clit

    Which method have other ARRSE users employed/ experienced.

  2. blindfold mrs lairdx.

    Pretend to probe in vicinity of clit. Place west highland terrier between mrs lairdx's legs. rub gravy on mrs lairdx's front bottom. Go downstairs and watch a cowboy film.
  3. good drills, can i come round and pretend to be your westie :D

    I love gravy :D :D
  4. Yes but I must warn you. Mrs lairdx is pregnant and Grumpy.
  5. May I take this opportunity to point out that my avatar has nothing at all to do with the subject matter of this forum.

    Lairdx, we assume the westie is called Drambuie :grin:
  6. The Westie is called Sam
  7. Well that joke didn't work:

    Sam, a damn fine licor!
  8. [align=center][​IMG][/align]

    [marq=left]Present for Mrs Lairdx! :p [/marq]
  9. "The Hound of Hell"
  10. The best technique (personally speaking)is a mixture of the two actually. Extra points for using fingers toys etc. (No, not dolls or toy cars).
    Personally, i think its over rated, im greedy and just want on with things. Most women (so im told) just go through the motions of moaning etc to make it seem wortwhile. I couldnt be arsed with that. Once endured almost an hour of it with an ex of mine and nearly fell asleep.
    Keep it short, and exciting. Dont spend hours down there, WE WANT OUR HOLE!!.

    Sorry, hormonal and horny. :twisted:
  11. Danger! High Voltage!

    I've always found licking like a career mong doesn't get a good orgasm/lockjaw ratio from burds. Perfect being of couse Lots:None at all. Short and sweet is best, IMHO - and avoid if your between a horse-riders thighs. It's asking for trouble, that is.
  12. Its all dependant on the state of the bean to be flicked..... :?

    Dale, arrse's resident sp.unkdump.... I heard Greengrass gave up using his tongue... said it was like snuffling a Baboons biffkin. He now pleasures the fair maiden with 240v belt driven egg wisk made from high tensile strength steel. :D

    Me.. i adopt the scratch & sniff method... which ever hole smells the least un-savory i present to the other half .... when will he learn. :D
  13. just press your face into it as hard as you can so you get a respirator like seal and then shout "gas gas gas" as loud as you possibly can .... don't know if it'll get her off but it's funny as f*ck .... one drawback

    you end up looking like you've just been "clown pied"
  14. Dales bean is bigger than my c0ck....... looks like a pair of Dobermans have been wrestling with it.

    i flick the doris's bean with a pair of Moles grips with a bungee wrapped round them, just as she approaches climax I fasten them to three bags of spuds and lob them out of the window.....

    Takes ages for her to come down from the ceiling... Then when she does I boot her in the tits and demand a nosh