Flatulence passenger grounds flight

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by hansvonhealing, Dec 7, 2006.

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  1. TVNZ
    Flatulence passenger grounds flight

    Dec 7, 2006

    It may be one problem airline security officials never envisioned - a passenger lighting matches in flight to mask odours from her flatulence.

    The woman's actions resulted in an emergency landing on Monday in Nashville of an American Airlines flight bound for Dallas from Washington, D.C., said Lynne Lowrance, a spokeswoman for Nashville's airport.

    Other passengers reported the odour of burnt matches, but the woman was not forthcoming when asked about it, Lowrance said on Wednesday.

    "Of course, she was scared and embarrassed but all the passengers had to disembark, all the luggage had to be searched, a canine team was brought in, and about three hours were consumed in sorting out the situation," she said.

    The woman was not allowed back on the flight and barred from flying on American Airlines, Lowrance said.

    "Since there was no malice involved and the incident was accidental, she was not charged with anything," she said.

    Passengers are permitted four books of paper safety matches on a plane but cannot light them during flight, Lowrance said.

    "I've had calls from people all over the country about this," she said. "And I don't have the answer to this problem."
  2. They should really get Her Majesty a private jet.
  3. She should have started dropping her guts at the top of the aisle and then proudly strolled down between everybody passing on her air of nonchalance and body perfume to all...then as an encore curl out a Mr. Whippy near the emergency exit..
  4. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Jesus. Those Colonials and their quaint manners, eh? I was always taught a fart smells for the benefit of those who didnt hear it?
  5. There does seen to be a business opportunity there for selling charcoal lined knickers for people who want to keep their odours to themselves.
  6. Will they have to change the safety demos now: "Emergency exits are here, here and here, the use of mobile phones is not permitted nor is the extinguishing of air biscuits".
  7. I'd have been proud of flatty farts...
  8. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    at 50,000 feet if someone doesnt like how I smell they may take a stroll along the wing.
  9. This surely cant be true because woman dont fart!!!
  10. You haven't met my Doris. A few nights ago I was safely in the land of nod when I was suddenly awakened at five in the morning by an almighty thunderclap that shocked me upright in bed: I instinctively reached for a weapon.

    It turned out to be the missus doing her fabled impression of Krakatoa.
  11. I cleared a disco dance floor once with a high impact, weapons grade contribution. Best thing was, my large mate got the blame. Perhaps there's a 'best place I dropped one' thread here somewhere?