Fixing Great Britain

Nemesis44UK

LE
Book Reviewer
#1
Through no fault of your own, you suddenly become elected Supreme Leader of the UK. You have total autonomy and a brief to make Britain Great again.

The rules are: You must make the UK profitable, with a healthy armed services and a functioning NHS of sorts. No genocide or anything that sees you facing death by firing squad.

What do you do?
 
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#2
Cut the Overseas Aid budget to to zero, reallocate to NHS and Defence but take axe to multiple layers of management in NHS - hospitals to be run by Matron and a grumpy professor like in the Doctor films.
Slash corporation tax to 10%, VAT to 12%, with a promise to get it down below 10% within this Parliament.
Cut top rate tax to 40% and bring the threshold up to 15k below which you pay no tax.
 
B

Baldricks Batman

Guest
#3
Through no fault of your own, you suddenly become elected Supreme Leader of the UK. You have total autonomy and a brief to make Britain Great again.

The rules are: You must make the UK profitable, with a healthy armed services and a functioning NHS of sorts. No genocide or anything that sees you facing death by firing squad.

What do you do?
Fvck knows the country feels like it has been taken back to the 1970's in a little under a week.
 
#5
Through no fault of your own, you suddenly become elected Supreme Leader of the UK. You have total autonomy and a brief to make Britain Great again.
Supreme Leader of the UK is a bit of a mouthful. Something shorter and more concise is preferable. No more than two syllables and a small moustache. In the spirit of European cooperation, one accented vowel should be allowed.

The rules are: You must make the UK profitable, with a healthy armed services and a functioning NHS of sorts. No genocide or anything that sees you facing death by firing squad.

What do you do?
All immigrants are to deposit one of their kidneys at border control as a guarantee that they will leave. NHS will be made profitable by selling these kidneys to desperate Yanks and Japs.

When President Trump drives America into an apocalyptic catastrophe where zombies walk the land, we will sneak in and nick their armed forces. Royal Navy might need to recruit a few matelots to man the 13 carrier battle groups but it'll be worth it. Also gun nuts will be unable to shoot the zombies as they are already dead.
 
#9
Make idiots who injure themsleves whilst drunk pay for any NHS treatment
Same with drugs, overdose or causing injury.
Stop offshore companies advoiding stamp duty on property (this alone would make the Country millions)
Non domicile capital gains tax on property sales.
Stop mega mansions in London being bought and not occupied. Minimum occupancy otherwise available for rent.
Tax laws simplified-you earn it here you pay tax on it here.
Make the longterm unemployed work for their local area, street cleaning, public garden maintainence, anything that improves the local "feeling".
Bring back Capital Pumishment for certain crimes.
Cap legal aid expences
Identify the less academic before they do some rubbish or worthlees graduate course and get them into pratical trade skills apprenticeships.
Raise the minimum age candidates can stand for Parliamentary election.
 
#11
This issue entirely depends on one's perception of what "great" is. I'd start by identifying when it was last "great" and then try and recreate those conditions. Only to find it would be impossible.

Not a job I would wish on anyone. Well, Scargill, perhaps.
 

skid2

LE
Book Reviewer
#12
A years national or community service. Which gets you an apprenticeship starter or uni. That's your gap year, everybody gets one.
NHS goes back to where they had a 4% cushion on funding. No politics, no point scoring.
Refurb brownfield sites
Free nursery care, breakfast and school dinners.
Start building housing and schools. Explain that due to circumstances beyond our control PFI is abolished. Any lawyer wishing to contest it does so on minimum wage. Any lawyer wishing to contest anything other than what is for the greater good does so on minimum wage. Invite Norwegians over for cheap beer, they decide what's for the greater good.

Mortgages on 5% admin by building society.
**** the banks.
Buy to let. Stopped. Landlords houses in poor condition purchased or else taken.
Illegal immigrants deported to Kent, then off.
Anyone found living off grid in garage/shed. Moved to Kent. Landlord overpopulating a house, fined and house confiscated
Nationalise the railways, work out where they are needed and build more.
Nationalise BT or tell them they've six months to do high speed broadband.
Road gangs doing hedges and verges.
Electronic tags and nighttime curfews for scrotes. Weekends on road gangs.
Anyone carrying a knife or mentions the word dissed. Borstal. (Anyone who assaults anyone in Borstal. Jail)
Fat in charge of a mobility scooter. Confiscation, scooter given to someone who needs it.
50% top rate tax
10% VAT you can claim back 5%
Tax starts at £15k
NI now Health insurance. You pay 2% your employer Pays 1%

Any other questions I'll be in Barcelona.
 
#13
I'd collect all of the money in and then distribute it equally. When I'd spent my bit, I'd collect it all in again and then distribute it equally. When I'd spent my bit....

Seriously, I'd like someone, whoever it is as Supreme Leader, to just be honest. Just tell us the truth.

We can't afford the NHS as it is and you'll have to pay for some bits of it.

Tax is what keeps the country going, so don't ask for tax cuts all the time, because we'll just find a way of taxing the money out of you somewhere else (in the pub or at the petrol pump), and so on.

The truth would be a good place to start.
 
#14
I'd still have an aid budget, but i would use it for building infrastructure only and pay UK firms to go abroad to build them. Hopefully that will help stop people wanting to leave their own countries!
I would put on voting papers a none of the above option, and then introduce a tax on all voters. Anyone who registers a vote (either by turning up on the day or postal vote) gets excused paying the tax.
Work out a tax break for those working for the "public good", im thinking armed forces, emergency services etc
 
#16
Through no fault of your own, you suddenly become elected Supreme Leader of the UK. You have total autonomy and a brief to make Britain Great again.

The rules are: You must make the UK profitable, with a healthy armed services and a functioning NHS of sorts. No genocide or anything that sees you facing death by firing squad.

What do you do?
Pass legislation to make it a legal requirement for company's to improve productivity. This will be done through a mandatory requirement for all managers to receive management training. All permanent staff to receive lean 6 sigma training.

Zero vat or tax on equipment investment for business.

Benefits to be cut after a certain time period.

Introduction of a GI bill to promote people to go into the military even if it only for four years as you steady get a capable pool of reservists.

Increase the navy with above to include a quantity of less capable SSKs and corvettes to relieve some pressure (do we really need a type 45 on piracy duty or an SSN firing tomahawks at a third world country with non ASW capability.

Use the European model of healthcare provision. Those that can pay insurance premiums those that can't get it free, but charge people for time wasting.
 
#17
Devolve power to the lowest level possible.

Work out a funding structure based on per capita, fund accordingly. The national government does national stuff, health, defence et al, the councils get funded according to how many are there.

Flat rate of tax set at collect the bills plus 5% for rainy day / debt paying purposes and to cover inflation. This includes corporations, everyone. Tax code rewritten from 15k pages to one paragraph.

"Every pound that you earn above x will be taxed at y pence per pound."

Everyone pays, no get outs. The x can be slid up and down to suit the national finances as can the y.

Oh and free porn channels.

Obviously.
 
#19
Rice paddies, year zero and a tree stump to bash heads on, and Britain is Great as in Greater in size than Brittany **** all to do with any ******* splendour you spastic.
 
#20
Clean out the Augean stables of the scum which constitute the Houses of Lords and Commons. Draft them all into meaningful employment and replace them with new candidates who have been in gainful employment for at least five years. Second thoughts abolish the H of L altogether..
 

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