First World Problems of the day!

My sentiments exactly when I uttered the phrase "Your brother's a cock."

Mind you the old man had a jaw dropping save fuel scheme that was worse.
His advice was, when on the motorway tuck yourself in tight behind a big lorry & you'll have less wind resistance & be pulled along in the slipstream. :eek:

Not turning the lights on at night saves fuel too...
 
Drivers unable to find their way around without a disembodied voice telling them to drive into canals.

Won't be long before they need an ear bud attached to a voice saying 'Inhale... Exhale... Inhale...'
 
You’re on a roll today, your old man was correct on that one as well. Getting behind a transport truck (North American) causes less aerodynamic drag , not pulled along though. It can indeed pay off if you are travelling great distances say 100’s of miles, shorter runs the savings are pointless.
I know these things are possible and in a very minute way will save fuel, but it's like Chris Rock once said "Just because you can do it, doesn't mean it should be done."
 
That's what taxes do. They pay for things that are of benefit to the whole even if they're not of benefit to you at any particular moment.
The beauty of our system is that everybody can have a chance if they want to. Which is also a curse, if the country had to pay for every young adult to make an attempt at college it would be a fecking disaster. Not everybody is ready for Uni life, and pissing away thousands of dollars is not my ideal way to spend tax dollars. We have many forms of student aid you can apply for to help with college expenses. Paying for some feckwit to get a degree in Women's studies or Underwater Basket weaving is a no go.
 
It is 14 degrees F here this morning (-10 C), and I have to walk about 1/3 of a mile uphill to get my coffee and then walk back to my office man cave........that is my first world problem of the day.
 
I know these things are possible and in a very minute way will save fuel, but it's like Chris Rock once said "Just because you can do it, doesn't mean it should be done."
For some saving coin isn’t about the money, it’s like a challenge or a dare it seems....
 

TheresaMay

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DirtyBAT
After a former life spanning over two decades repeatedly sleeping on a horrid green foamy thing which has been abused by the repetitive thrapping and regular swamping of its many former owners, along with the kind of sagging of the bedsprings brought on by equal abuse that would later destroy most squaddies' backs beyond economical repair for years to come...

...you can imagine there's quite a contrast upgrading to a king-sized Laura Ashley bed frame and Sleepeeze P1000 mattress, along with Egyptian cotton fitted sheet and duck feather duvet, and memory foam pillows - all of which, smell like a fresh summer meadow, teasing you on the brink of semi-consciousness as you allow yourself to melt into oblivion on an evening, only to awaken for either the NATO-standard old-man piss in the night, or the gentle building of a delicate alarm, gradually increasing in volume to allow one to awaken from thy slumber in one's own time.

Indeed, many's the night one has almost been deterred from hitting the sack earlier than planned, due to the simple lack of belief that the Army had my posture, rest and recovery at their foremost priorities with their uninviting grey metal bedframes with missing springs and the itch of Harry Black being prevalent through the industrial strength starched sheets, engineered to cause maximum discomfort.

Nowadays of course, one cannot wait to be at one with his thoughts, cocooned in perpetual bliss; letting the warmth circulate under the enormous cavern created by a seemingly never ending duvet. On a cold night, one can accelerate the warmth by allowing a nice steaming hot ripper out of the tea towel holder. Sole occupancy of such a masterful piece of furniture, has its bonuses. Maybe even allow a cheeky foot or leg to escape the duck feathered canopy in order to regulate the heat a little - or on a tepid night, allow the back a little exposure to the elements.

Even the old-man piss has its advantages on a cold and frosty evening - getting back into bed after exposing every extremity to a nip in the air of which could only be compared to the likes of which Mr Scott and Mr Oates must have endured during that fateful journey - ranks up there with the very best of life's little pleasures.



Until of course you go out one night, have a great evening. You get back home. It's late. And then you remember earlier that morning...

...you stripped the bloody bed down :cry::pale:
 
Nipper bought me an Amazon Echo (and one for himself, presumably a special offer). It's great. Instead of trying to remember where I left an album (did I ever get it on CD or am I looking for an LP or a cassette?), I just say,

Alexa, play album Paranoid by Black Sabbath (to differentiate it from the eponymous single track), or

Alexa, play Tchaikovsky's Piano Concerto #1 in B flat minor.

But here's the rub. Changes was written and recorded by Black Sabbath. And covered very well by Ozzy Osbourne solo. And a kitsch Christmas release by Ozzy with his daughter, Kelly. Not to mention an entirely different song by Bowie. And when I stopped reading Wikipedia, I had the feeling there were still dozens of others to disambiguate. Can I get Alexa to play Changes by Ozzy without the daughter? Nope.

It's an outrage I tell 'ee.

edit

And the hitch doesn't understand that Tchaikovsky's Marche Slave has a French title, and the French word Slave doesn't or mean the as the English word Slave.

So, Alexa, you can save your willy at me as much as you like, but you're not that fúcking clever.

Oh if only there was a meme of Brian Conley telling me "It's a computet."
Mate of mine in the States has one of these things. While on a call with him it tried to place at least four orders for assorted tat with Amazon (at least I assume it was Amazon). He had to turn round and say no Alexa, no Alexa, oh FFS NOOO. Eventually the thing would shut up only to spark up five minutes later wanting to order something else it had overheard. When it decided to play some music he asked for it to stop. It just turned the volume up. Clearly whoever designed it has installed a wife-mode that can't be turned off.
 
Mate of mine in the States has one of these things. While on a call with him it tried to place at least four orders for assorted tat with Amazon (at least I assume it was Amazon). He had to turn round and say no Alexa, no Alexa, oh FFS NOOO. Eventually the thing would shut up only to spark up five minutes later wanting to order something else it had overheard. When it decided to play some music he asked for it to stop. It just turned the volume up. Clearly whoever designed it has installed a wife-mode that can't be turned off.

You can use it to make calls to other people who have them for free.
 
It is 14 degrees F here this morning (-10 C), and I have to walk about 1/3 of a mile uphill to get my coffee and then walk back to my office man cave........that is my first world problem of the day.
You don't have your own coffee machine?

Unlucky...
 
Mate of mine in the States has one of these things. While on a call with him it tried to place at least four orders for assorted tat with Amazon (at least I assume it was Amazon). He had to turn round and say no Alexa, no Alexa, oh FFS NOOO. Eventually the thing would shut up only to spark up five minutes later wanting to order something else it had overheard. When it decided to play some music he asked for it to stop. It just turned the volume up. Clearly whoever designed it has installed a wife-mode that can't be turned off.
Did it go "bingly-bingly-beep!"?
 
I had access to some pretty sweet coffee machines at my last job. I am unemployed now, so I have to brew my own...which is the cheap stuff.;)
View attachment 357542
Clearly you did not work for Government...cheeky bastard.

We have a "Coffee club" where if you are a member and want to partake here in the office you have to chip in 8 bucks a month or so for coffee. However the brand is selected by three employees who drink the most of this shit a day. I pass as I am not going to throw my money away because a few die hards can't be bothered to branch out......
 
Clearly you did not work for Government...cheeky bastard.

We have a "Coffee club" where if you are a member and want to partake here in the office you have to chip in 8 bucks a month or so for coffee. However the brand is selected by three employees who drink the most of this shit a day. I pass as I am not going to throw my money away because a few die hards can't be bothered to branch out......
Remember. Coffee is for Yanks and puffs. Other's that talk a lot may also partake.
 

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