Finding 'The One' after divorce

#1
My divorce finally came through a few months back after a two year process.
I'll not go into details about the whys and wherefores etc. but it was not my choosing.
Anyway, I am much happier now, have got back on my feet again and stragely have been sort of dating the woman who I should have made a commitment to way back.
When I'd left the army I was 'seeing' but not sleeping with, a number of women in a 'let's see how this pans out' kind of way and to quote Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade, I chose poorly.
One of the women I was around at the time was an old freind who I'd seen only a handful of times since my marriage, but we got back together about 18 months back and clicked.
She's smart, funny and has a great sense of humour. More importantly, she is not, in any way shape or form, mental. And things just feel right whenever we are together. There is no walking on egg shells in case you say the wrong thing, she can see the humour in awkward situations and guide me out of them if I feel like I had put my foot in it.
It's just hard to explain how easy things feel when we're together.
The point of this thread is not to get all soppy, but to ask other members who have been through the same process - divorce, starting dating again etc. - how they felt when you found out there was actually someone out there who's sole purpose was not to make your every moment a living hell where black is white and up is down and 2+2 =7 to such an extent you really don't know what is happening anymore.
But yeah, if I'd known then what I do now I would have saved myself 14 years of hell, made the right decision and been happy for a lot longer.
Aplogies if this seems to ramble, but I've just got off a long haul flight this morning and am jetlagged to hell.
 
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#4
but to ask other members who have been trough the same process - divorce, starting dating again etc. -
We all make shit decisions at times, mine was to give a Liverpudlian wedding proposal (you're having a what?). Stuck with it for 17 years then banged out, was moved to London and banged like a barn door in a force 10 gale for 2 years. Left the mob and moved down South promising myself no more multiple women. Kept on straight and narrow for a year then left that one. Met current wife, clicked immediately, proposed 6 weeks later, still happy 17 years later :)
 
#5
Been where you are mate; and we've now been together for nine years and married for 6.5 of them. My advice to you is just go with it and see what happens; to be happy is the main thing, I think. My ex-wife (who shagged around with her boss and kicked off the whole process after 16 years) is still livid that I actually divorced her and got on with my life!
 
#8
It also struck me around the time of the divorce just how many guys I knew who married their childhood sweethearts and are still very happily together decades later.
Must be nice to have that kind of relationship and get it right first time.
 
#12
I know a couple of people (my brother for one) who got divorced and then married their childhood/school sweet heart and it failed because they thought of them as they were and not as how they are.
 
#14
I know a couple of people (my brother for one) who got divorced and then married their childhood/school sweet heart and it failed because they thought of them as they were and not as how they are.
I was on about those who married them from the get-go. I too have heard some horror stories about former ten couples getting back together.
 
#15
Be yourself......she will find you.
The problem with that is, I am still 'myself'. The ex was very much in favour of my being someone else once we'd married.
 
#16
#17
...
The point of this thread is not to get all soppy, but to ask other members who have been trough the same process - divorce, starting dating again etc. - how they felt when you found out there was actually someone out there who's sole purpose was to make your every moment a living hell where black is white and up is down and 2+2 =7 to such an extent you really don't know what is happening anymore.
...
If you mean "reached the point where proceedings were started", then "Happy as Larry", to be honest. I was miserable in my last marriage and the realization that I was going to start a new life (in a new country to boot) lifted the gloom - immensely. I was lucky enough that my emigration flight was via New Zealand for a couple of weeks. We had a job needed doing down there, so although I blubbed a little as the taxi pulled out of my old house on the way to Heathrow on account of my kids, I got to LHR with a sense of anticipation. Had a great time in NZ, went to Sydney for the middle weekend and had a great time there too. I sent the dragon a photo of me on a boat passing the Opera House - we can both be cnuts, darling :) It so happened the British Lions were on tour down there, and I saw them play Wellington. Still got the shirt somewhere. Then to the US and the adventure began. 10 years of marriage later (soon to be 11), I am sooo grateful things worked out the way they did. It wasn't plan A, but thank Christ plan A went south.

If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
 
#18
I divorced Mrs Dave Mk I after 6 years, had a huge struggle with her over custody (she married 6 months after the divorce, divorced him, then went shagging anyone and everyone and finally married again). Finally won custody after years of court cases.

Went on a blind date and 18 months later married Mrs Dave Mk II. We've been married nearly 40 years now and I can't imagine life without her. However, she's recently been diagnosed with something called Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus, a form of dementia that can be reversed (fingers crossed). Consequently I'm now her carer.

Such a shame that happy times are now blighted by illness, but she's still alive so I should be thankful.
 
#19
I divorced Mrs Dave Mk I after 6 years, had a huge struggle with her over custody (she married 6 months after the divorce, divorced him, then went shagging anyone and everyone and finally married again). Finally won custody after years of court cases.

Went on a blind date and 18 months later married Mrs Dave Mk II. We've been married nearly 40 years now and I can't imagine life without her. However, she's recently been diagnosed with something called Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus, a form of dementia that can be reversed (fingers crossed). Consequently I'm now her carer.

Such a shame that happy times are now blighted by illness, but she's still alive so I should be thankful.
Gave you a "like" for the 40-year aspect - not because she's suffering. But to be honest, when my wife gets sick or injured occasionally, it's a duty and a privilege to care for her. I imagine you feel much the same.
 
#20
My divorce finally came through a few months back after a two year process.
I'll not go into details about the whys and wherefores etc. but it was not my choosing.
Anyway, I am much happier now, have got back on my feet again and stragely have been sort of dating the woman who I should have made a commitment to way back.
When I'd left the army I was 'seeing' but not sleeping with, a number of women in a 'let's see how this pans out' kind of way and to quote Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade, I chose poorly.
One fo the women I was around at the time was an old freind who I'd seen only a handful of times since my marriage, but we got back together about 18 months back and clicked.
She's smart, funny and has a great sense of humour. More importantly, she is not, in any way shape or form, mental. And things just feel right whenever we are together. There is no walking on egg shells in case you say the wrong thing, she can see the humour in awkward situations and guide me out of them if I feel like I had put my foot in it.
It's just hard to explain how easy things feel when we're together.
The point of this thread is not to get all soppy, but to ask other members who have been trough the same process - divorce, starting dating again etc. - how they felt when you found out there was actually someone out there who's sole purpose was to make your every moment a living hell where black is white and up is down and 2+2 =7 to such an extent you really don't know what is happening anymore.
But yeah, if I'd known then what I do now I would have saved myself 14 years of hell, made the right decision and been happy for a lot longer.
Aplogies if this seems to ramble, but I've just got off a long haul flight this morning and am jetlagged to hell.
This sounds like the script for a bad John Hughes film ......
Man meets woman, doesn’t commit, marries another
Woman divorces man
Man finds first woman again and lives happily ever after because supposedly she’s not mental.....
 

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