Finding Stacks of Porn

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by FARMBOY, Jul 3, 2009.

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  1. I took a bit of a trip down memory lane last night returning to the cricket club of my youth and found myself thinking not of the half centuries and village victories of the last century but of the monumental stack of moldering porn I found with my best mate (we were aged about 8) dumped round the back of the club house. Sadly my mate went and told my mum straight away and they were "removed" - with the help of other embarrased mums and put in a big bin that was too big to reach into (Oh how we tried) I have vivid memories of staring down into the bin just about able to see the one picture of a Rod Stewart look alike attempting to enter a hirsute lady with his flacid member (I guess an example of that strange soft/hardcore phenomona of the seventies and eighties) I then fell into the bin and smashed a tooth. We were forbidden to go anywhere near the bins or the back of the club house for years afterwards. Happy, Happy days.

    What surprised me more was on sharing my happy childhood memories with some colleagues this morning was the number of them of a similar age to me and from all parts of the UK had also "discovered" similar stashes of dumped porn on wasteground/behind sheds etc?

    1. Why were these stashes dumped?

    2. Has the Internet killed this phenomena?

    3. Did any other thirtsomething Arrsers make similar porn finds in their youth?

    P.S There was no stash behind the cricket club last night - I did check.
     
  2. A WWII pillbox near the river at home was always a rich seam. I think it's like white dog turds with a lollipop stick sticking out, something you just don't see any more...
     
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  3. We used to walk home from school through some woods many a soggy copy of Fiesta was found there happy days
     
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  4. there is a bin (on the way to Silverton from Pretoria) full of porn (well that was in 1998 when i left it there) was going back to blighty the next day and felt trying to get this through customs could be a problem
     
  5. I think the nets probably killed it mate.

    When your two clicks away from seeing a woman getting buggered by a horse, suddenly waiting for a delivery of a magazine full of still pictures seems a bit lame.
     
  6. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    I found one of those old 'Head' gym bags absolutely crammed with grot in the woods behind my house when I was a boy. Me and an oppo tried to find a decent place to stash it and my oppo said 'I know the perfect place' we carried the bag between us (it was bloody heavy!) to the hiding place which turned out to be a dried out well. I enquired to my oppo 'are you sure mate? What if it isn't dried up?' 'No no' he assured me it was perfect. So in went the bag with a mighty splash never to be seen again.

    Me and the other lad still don't speak much even now.
     
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  7. I suspect you are right. What a shame, yet again it seems computers are depriving the nations youth of an important formative experience.

    Porn mags for goal posts....those were the days :D
     
  8. I used to find the odd porn mag stuck in bushes on my way to/fro school from about the age of 10.
    Happy days. Nothing like trying to turn the pages on a copy of a rain soaked, faded out copy of Fiesta, Razzle, Escort, or Men Only whilst walking to school.

    To pass on that experiance, I recently dumped a load of my old porn mags (kept the dvds) in those very same bushes.
    So that other young boys may have those same memories in later years.
     
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  9. I think we should take your lead on this Miner. It's no use just blaming the internet, have we been negligent by hanging onto our porn and not dumping it for the youth to discover as our forefathers did.

    Some of the responsibility for the lack of abandoned porn must lie with us. It's time I tipped up that old MFO box at the back of the garage :twisted:
     
  10. I think the demise of free 'shrubbery-grot' is down to the problem that ... "I wasn't littering your honor, I was dumping grot in bushes for young boys to read. " will probably get you 4 years picking up soap in the shower block at Strangeways..
     
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  11. Some years ago I took over as a BQMS and after all the normal handover/takeover was done there was a Grand handover of the Bty porn. Now this wasnt a stack it was an MFO box full and having a good rummage through it some of the mags dated back to the early 80s and every Q over the years added to the collection and on my handover the pile was bigger. I hope this tradition continues
     
  12. Similar experience in finding wa nk mags in an old air raid shelter when I was about 12. But in those days all the pics had the pussy parts airbrushed out. I grew up thinking that all wimmin were smooth down under until my illusion was rudely shattered by a mate of my sister who, when I was 14, shoved my hand down the front of her blue school knickers and introduced me to a somewhat soggy and rather smelly nirvahna - she had just finished playing hocky at the time. I didnt wash my hand for a week.
     
  13. Helping my Oppo Move into his MQ we decided to stash the excess kit up in the loft.

    Imagine the laughter when we opened the trap door to find an empty loft, apart from:

    1. A pile of German grot mags

    2. A stool

    3. A box of kleenex

    4. A cushion on the floor in front of the stool

    5. A Music stand put to eye level if you were on your knees with a grot mag open on it

    6. Light with one of those Enamel Light shades

    Last occupier of the MQ?

    Guardroom Discip Sgt. who was still on camp as he'd moved into the mess 2 months earlier after his missus walked out on him, from then on his Nickname was "Music Stand man"!

    But found stashes, about 6 months ago we had the Water Cylinder changed in the airing cupboard, which is in what used to be in her brother's bedroom, he moved out maybe 20 years ago or so and the plumber who put it in handed me a couple of grot mags, one of which was pristine apart from the dust and the other was a hard as a dinnerplate and stuck together with 20 year old spaff, needless to say during a family lunch I reunited her brother with the pristine copy of Fiesta and told him the other one was being used as a replacement roof slate after an application of waterproof varnish........
     
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  14. Ah yes! Finding porn was considered a right of passage back in the day. My breakthrough was a Playboy in my Dads bedside draw! Not overly sure what i was actually looking for at the time as everything else is a little hazy around the time of this discovery.

    Not since the Popes Bible had any piece of literature been so well thumbed! It was a close call as to what was going to wear out first.... the mag or me nudger. I'd reduced it to tatters (the mag) by the time me Mom found it on top of me wardrobe. Expecting to be battered to death with the offending article, i was pleasantly suprised to recieve "the talk" from Mommy. "Well this is okay" i thought, until Dad duffed me over for getting his mag confiscated.

    Burned into the memory, those images served me well for a good few years. I still refer to them now on the odd occasion.... coz me girlfriends got a face like a pig farmers welly! Sigh
     
  15. I remember me and a mate found a huge pile. and then acquired some more from a benevolent market trader he worked for. We built an underground storage facility that Saddam Hussein would have been proud of - sadly, some thieving b'stard got in there and had it away one day.