Hello, I suffer from guilt for not forwarding twenty billion bloody chain letter e-mails sent to me by misguided but well intentioned people who actually believe, if you send them on, a destitute five-year old girl in Kackanistan with a nine inch penis on her chin will be able to raise enough dosh to have it surgically removed before her bloody parents sell her to a lesbian or Russian travelling circus. And ... do you really, honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give one thousand dollars of his own money to you and everyone to whom you send his e-mail? What a load of absolute spherical objects! Oooooh, look here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get shagged by a supermodel who I will just happen to bump into tomorrow! And what about the one that says, "Something hilarious will happen on your screen if you send this to 100 morons in Mongolia." Yeah right, dream on. It ain't gonna happen! Just maybe the evil chain letter goblins will come into my house and ram a huge cucumber up my arse while I'm asleep for not sending on and continuing a chain letter that was started by Pontious Pilate in 26AD and brought to England by two Wombats in Noah's Ark. Well f**k 'em, so what? If you want to send me something then at least forward something funny to make me chuckle. I've seen all those, "Send this to ten of your closest friends and this flea ridden, smelly, one armed, one eyed back alley begger in Egypt will recieve 5p from some omnipotent being." What a load of crap! Just remember, if the e-mail threatens to make your willy drop off or make you grow a third tit, then delete the bloody thing. However, if it's funny then send it on, we all need a laugh in life. What you don't do is hack people off by sending them on a guilt trip about a festering leper in Angola with no ears who has been tied to the backside of a dead Hippopotamus for 18 years and whose only hope of a better life is the 5p per e-mail he will receive if you send this on. Now forward this on to everyone in your address book. If you don't, tomorrow morning your underwear will become carniverous and eat your genitalia. Have a nice day.