Filed for Future Reference...


1] Flush BEFORE standing to pull up pants when cell phone is attached to belt

2] Certain electronic devices do not operate when contaminated by ' organic matter '

3] When explaining to repair technician punch them in the face as a warning, before they start laughing hysterically and call their associates to the counter for an ' instant replay ' of the problem.
I have to replace my mobile around 2-3 time a year due to the flimsy nature of the technology. Now the first one I bought lasted from 1998 to 2002 it was a Siemens C11, I called it Captain Scarlet due to it's ability to survive constant attack. It fell from my pocket on a daily basis, bounced down flights of stairs. visited both pan and puddle and even went through a cycle in the washing machine. If it got wet a night on the radiator was sufficiant to get it working. It may not have had all that wap,bolt on,blue tooth mularcky and raised sniggers from school kids but for reliability it was the cannine gonads. It was lost in action in 2002 when I left it in my back pocket while sitting down in a cab, the memory of the sickening crack of the fixed aerial becoming less than fixed haunts me to this day.
They just dont make them like they used to.
Yes, I had one of those house-brick Nokia (2210?) phones that I'd use to prop doors open, bash open stuck cupboard doors and talk to people. It was brilliant, I had it for almost five years and no it didn't have a bloody camera.


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