Fight Club

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Cuddles, Nov 23, 2005.

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  1. This afternoon the bar maid in my local started talking about the Brad Pitt film, Fight Club, and how erm...exciting she found it. Well as the afternoon wore on and we became less in touch with the real world, the idea came into our heads to provide her with the entertainment she craved. Stripped to the waist we took it in turns to fight for two minutes, Queensberry rules styl-ee. Her gusset must have been sodden by the time my short right hook put big Dan the plasterer on his arse!

    The thing is, is such a not for profit, unlicensed bare-knuckle contest illegal? Or merely an unwise piece of absolutely fantastic fun? It was fukincing awesome fun regardless. I can see the attraction and indeed sampled the soup-plate of honour. It will be fun to explain the samll cut under my left eye to Mrs Cuddles for example!

    We are thinking of going at it again but we need to get some more of the locals up for it, like the 67 year old beagler who has big issues with the 65 year old anti-hunting misery guts. My money is on the beagler by the way...

    Cuddles, aged 44. Yes 44 and I'm still pulling strokes like this. Gleaming. Abso-bloody-lutely-gleaming drills...yes I had taken the drink but how did you guess?
  2. I think you've forgotten the first (and second) rule of fight club.....

  3. Cuddles,
    you young piss head, 'Big Dan' wasn't wearing a blue uniform and a reflective jacket now, was he!. If not I suggest the next time you kick off, your bar maid friend dial 999. In my experience, and if thats what gets her wet, they'll make Fight Club look like the tweenies
  4. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Was not the point of Fight Club the fact that he was fighting himself AND LOSING! :cry:
  5. "fight club" is a regular amongst my circle of friends.... and we have played out its gladiatorial contests in locations all over this land and others...

    It always starts innocently enough, someone will give someone else a sly dig in the chops as they're about to drink their pint, or as you get your change out and go to order the drinks, a swift "kidney collapser" is deployed to make you say

    " two pints of lage-oooooofffffffffffffff" and try not to cry at the bar ...

    4 of us played it in a bar at the boat show ... went down really well with all the "plastic admirals" in the bar ... and the salesman whose 7 million pound yachts plumbing we f ucked, and bedding we ruined by doing naked lunges on it and fittings we stole wholesale... that's for another time though ..

    i got hit on the chin with a can of beer, and nearly broke my thumb trying to "fish hook" my mate Bri, a responsible business man and father of two, who was in turn keeping my other mate steve from breathing by getting him in a sleeper hold...

    When we visited a mate up north last year it descended into chaos with 6 fully grown and supposedly mature adults having a proper tear up in the back of a black cab, other high spots of that particular mission were watching (poor old) Steve get hit in the grinner with an ice cube hurled by my kid brother from a full 30 feet away, and then .. when the poor sap crashed out giving him the good news in the back of the head so he smacked his nose on a table.... oh how we still chortle about that one !!

    it got SO bad, at my brothers wedding i had to announce that

    "sorry lads, but NO fight club, and DEFINITELY no skiffing ... "

    this confused most of the older guests, and got me another fine collection of "dagger like stares" to add to my collection from the brides family.

    In short, Fight club is all about (not) growing up and being British... the ability to take a proper smack in the chops off a mate and laugh it off as you plot how to slide tackle him, is what made this country great !!
  6. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Yep - it seems so! :?