Fifty Shades of Grey causes work for Fire Service

B

bokkatankie

Guest
#4
Am always impressed it takes an entire crew and big shiny truck but then I suppose they all want a look!

Do you think the Daily Mail has a section devoted to seeing how many time articles are quoted on ARRSE?
 
#5
Am always impressed it takes an entire crew and big shiny truck but then I suppose they all want a look!

Do you think the Daily Mail has a section devoted to seeing how many time articles are quoted on ARRSE?
That's not it at all. An appliance must be dispatched with a full crew in the event they are diverted to a higher priority shout while en route or after going "available" at the original scene. For example, H&S would have a cow if a two man crew attacked a fire on their own.
 
#6
Even if you did fuck the toaster, and it trapped your cock, why on Earth would you call Trumpton?

Surely a pair of pliers would bend the offending bit of the toaster out of the way. Or dismantle it and extricate yourself. Even if the toaster ended up er shagged, it's better than the embarrassment of the call.

"Which Emergency Service do you need?"

"Fire, please"

"What is the nature of your emergency?"

"Er, I've caught my cock in the toaster"

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that?"

"I've got my cock stuck in the toaster"

(stifled laughter) "Are you sure it's an emergency?"

"Yes, the wife is due home in 30 minutes!"

"Ok Sir, don't worry, we'll have you out of there in a jiffy"
You scripted that dialog excellently. Are you sure you haven't prior experience . . . on one or the other end of the phone??
 
M

Mark The Convict

Guest
#7
I saw an example of this in a bookshop yesterday, right at the front; '50 SOG board game' http://www.google.com.au/url?sa=t&r...mWCCkVbe-9d3V7GHQ&sig2=Hq845t-rarlls1o-Ci1wQg

I walked on, and remain ignorant of its nature. If a 'party game' doesn't involve at least some chance of Hortense from Accounts being admitted to A&E with a pinched lumbar nerve, rectal spasms and a lava lamp lodged in her seized-up clacker, then I'm not interested.
 
#8
I saw an example of this in a bookshop yesterday, right at the front; '50 SOG board game' http://www.google.com.au/url?sa=t&r...mWCCkVbe-9d3V7GHQ&sig2=Hq845t-rarlls1o-Ci1wQg
Pah! Where's your spirit of adventure man?

Those Nurses in A&E need entertaining too you know.

I walked on, and remain ignorant of its nature. If a 'party game' doesn't involve at least some chance of Hortense from Accounts being admitted to A&E with a pinched lumbar nerve, rectal spasms and a lava lamp lodged in her seized-up clacker, then I'm not interested.
Pah! Where's your spirit of adventure man?

Those Nurses in A&E need entertaining too you know.
 
#9
If a 'party game' doesn't involve at least some chance of Hortense from Accounts being admitted to A&E with a pinched lumbar nerve, rectal spasms and a lava lamp lodged in her seized-up clacker, then I'm not interested.
Fuck! The image created by your description had me convulsing with laughter.
 
#10
Even if you did fuck the toaster, and it trapped your cock, why on Earth would you call Trumpton?

Surely a pair of pliers would bend the offending bit of the toaster out of the way. Or dismantle it and extricate yourself. Even if the toaster ended up er shagged, it's better than the embarrassment of the call.

"Which Emergency Service do you need?"

"Fire, please"

"What is the nature of your emergency?"

"Er, I've caught my cock in the toaster"

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that?"

"I've got my cock stuck in the toaster"

(stifled laughter) "Are you sure it's an emergency?"

"Yes, the wife is due home in 30 minutes!"

"Ok Sir, don't worry, we'll have you out of there in a jiffy"
He's obviously a very conscientious chap. Even when fucking an inanimate object like a toaster, he still thought to use protection. Though I'm not sure a Jiffy condom was the best choice, he should have used spermicidal cream!
 
#15
Or an industrial toaster?
Still only one slice size slots..unless it's a conveyor or wheel type. Then no holes.

Anyway, Chefs are mostly mincers. ;-)
 

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