I wish to become very rich. The easiest way to do it is to write a crap porn book. Then I thought... Why not get other people to do it for me? Then I can republish it under my female pen name ('Thisbe Bollox'). So, as an exercise in collaborative writing, I'll set some ground rules. Each chapter of no more than 200 words. Internal logic and chronology doesn't matter. It never did before. Our Hero- Pagan Greenkit. Our Heroine-Anusol Whocares. Number of sex acts-As many as you can get in. Bad dialogue, Moans, lip biting, 10 points extra per exclamation mark. Use of at least one of the following words is COMPULSORY-Shed, SLR, Shortt, Rape van, Black nasty, DMS, STAB, ARAB. Use of Peter Dow-Priceless. If there's enough of you, I might make it a trilogy.