Rough transcript of a news item Sepp Blatter has confirmed that Fifa have made contingency plans in case the 2010 World Cup cannot be held in South Africa and that England has been chosen as the alternative venue, says London radio. Reactions in Germany suggest that their national coach sees this as a Low point, reportedly commenting that "we have more beer and sausages here, what do they have to offer?" Blatter is extremely doubtful that South Africa will be ready to stage the tournament and says that the English FA has already prepared a secret, media-proof plan that will ensure the World Cup is held England - many believe that England will actually go on and win the trophy like they did in 1966. Fairly and without controversy as is the English tradition. The omens are good - especially after Spain won the European Championship - and Woolworths went bust, last time they won it we won the next World Cup" smiled Mr Charlton, who has known about the secret plans for months but had kept it under his hat. "I would be a very negligent president if I hadn't put away in a drawer somewhere a plan B ," said Blatter "So Well done England and the FA - they were missed at the Euros so it is only fitting that we ensure their attendance at the World Cup by letting them host it, heaven knows they need this" Expectations are the events will also reflect the ever changing society in Britain to the rest of the world, players will be able to wear headscarves. Also leaked is that benefit recipients may be banned from games under the new welfare reforms though single parents will have to attend. Stadiums selected to host the 2010 English World Cup include, Wembley, Old Trafford, The Emirates Stadium, Lord's, Stamford Bridge, Headingley and, surprisingly, the former home of new Premiership whipping boys Hull Kingston Rovers City FC, Boothferry Crescent, which will be 'fixed' up before the event and the women asked to stay at home.