FFS

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by spaz, Apr 30, 2010.

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  1. News just in, I have just received this text msg from one of my little darlings (No duff).

    I wasn't expecting this as I munched on my cornflakes so I would appreciate your input for a suitable reply.
     
  2. :? Some bizarre sex game gone wrong?


    [​IMG]

    Text back:

    "I want pictures!!"
     
  3. I've just demanded a photo of his Poo-face.
     
  4. Fugly

    Fugly LE DirtyBAT

    Tell him you don't believe him, and unless he brings the contents of the toilet bowl in to work in a plastic bag you'll put him in front of the OC.
     
  5. Squeeze harder?
     
  6. Buy some air freshners
     
  7. Don't! I repeat, DON'T! try to stem the flow with the toilet brush.
     
  8. VerticalGiro may remember this........

    Back in the day at SEE we all had to wear ronhills, and our "BE" T shirt for BFTs.

    One morning we're all running our little hearts out trying to get a good time when one of the lads suddenly exists stage left and into the lines.

    Cfn Ring (aptly named) was later asked why he didn't complete the BFT.

    "I had the runs Sgt, and shat myself half way round"

    I can concur, as I was just behind him as the dark patch moved down the back of his ronhills at an alarming rate. Dirty cnut.
     
  9. Ah, SEE. With Stan's dad sat outside the Silver Horse serving the best burgers in Berks (sauce an onions, mate?).

    Spaz - I'm guessing he's off the pan now, seeing as it's been half hour since you posted that, and he'd been on there half hour at the time. Sounds like a 'long weekend blag' to me. Are you the sympathetic 'duty of care' type? If so, he may be hoping you text him back telling him to go to the MRS for extra sympathy and a bedding down with a little credability gained from texting his tiff. Of course, he hasn't mentioned the 8 pints of Aunty, 8 vodka shots and greasy undercooked chicken shish he downed last night.
     
  10. 'Sit to attention when I address you!'
     
  11. terroratthepicnic

    terroratthepicnic LE Reviewer Book Reviewer
    1. ARRSE Runners

    Text back to say he has a block inspection in 10 minutes. The CO and RSM will be doing the inspection and his room is to be spotless. Then arrive 10 minutes late to see him sweating and trying not to shit himself.
     
  12. Christ........I'd forgot about that! Best burgers?? Only when preceded by a minimum 10 pints of John Smiths smooth from the fat, spotty, rollypolly behind the bar.
     
  13. That's exactly where it was, just past the "launderette"

    Good old Griff, the oldest looking man in NATO, and his faithful DS sidekick Staff Duffy.

    I'm going with lazy PTIs with a lack of imagination.
     
  14. Yeah he's off the pan and in the Med Centre getting issued a cork. He's not going anywhere early as he failed to provide me with a suitably impressive poo-face.
     
  15. Ronhills? T Shirt? BFT? (Going dizzy, face red, hurrummph, mumbles)

    :evil: