Few beers, Woke up on sofa, in the sh1t!!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by JfarceH, Sep 7, 2009.

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  1. Several years ago, had squadron piss up, missus in attendance, got leathered, no memory (or at least not much), awoke in an arm-chair at home about 03:00 in the morning, went to bed.

    Next day I gingerly ask the missus, if she had a good time?.................the look she gave me answered all my questions, I WAS IN THE SH1T!!!!!!.

    Has anyone else had a similar experience? (apologies if this topic has already been covered).
  2. Grand slam?
  3. Yep, the girls of 7 Regt RCT proved they were better than you :twisted:
  4. I was in the SH1T, although there may have been some dampness on the armchair, but I still blame that on the dog.
  5. Did you shite yourself? I'm confused. Were you in the shite or did you have a shite?

    Welcome to Arrse.
  6. On leave after OP Granby, I awoke, or rather I came around after a night out, in the kitchen naked, sitting cross legged and bubbling like a little girl in warm putrid puddle of my own shite,with my Mum,sister and two younger brothers standing in the doorway - Mother going f ucking balistic and younger siblings sniggering.
    Not only that, I had stonking f ucking hard on that would put Ben Dover to shame.

    18 years later my brothers still f ucking slag me about that.
  7. I had a similar experience once following a New Years Eve Party...

    Missus was like a broken TV, all picture and no sound.. until..

    "You ever try to do that to me again and I'll divorce you, you PERVERT!"

    Of course I'm furiously trying to rmember what particular orofice was involved when she went:

    "Nah, only kidding, you just fell asleep in the chair, but it'll teach you lesson you drunken tw*T"

    Snakes with tits .
  8. I woke up in a tent once after a night on lash and some tw@at had laid a log on the groundsheet..
  9. I popped a fun size Mars Bar under my wifes arse when she was sleeping. Almost had her convinced that she shat the bed when she woke up.
  10. I woke up one morning after a heavy nights drinking to the old silent treatment from my ex.
    Turns out, in the middle of the night I'd got up to be sick, thrown up in the sink & went back to bed.
    She'd got up later for a piss, & discovered the bowl of vomit I'd left (it was a bit chunky apparently & had blocked the sink hole). So at 4am the ex was cleaning out the sink as I'm peacefully snoring away.
    I don't remember a thing & personally think she was making it up.
    We split up a month later.
    Can't understand why.
    I thought women liked you doing romantic things, like pissing in their garden during a BBQ, in front of their friends. :roll:
  11. Are you slow? Who pays the rent? Make her sleep on the couch next time.
  12. Woke up in the cellar, wrapped in a carpet, naked with a dog bite on my nose. Waltzed back up stairs to the missus just as she was stirring and that was the start of radio silence for about a week. Took that long for pieces of my memory to come back as to how and why I ended up in the cellar.......
  13. And the reason was?????
    PS i hope you gave the dog a kick...traitorous little bag of shite
  14. So, how and why did you end up in the cellar?
    Edit: Fuck too slow.
  15. Didn't he just. And that very same tw@t had the balls to blame me for it. :x