ARRSE is supported by the advertisements on it, so if you use an adblocker please consider helping us by starting an Ad-Free subscription.

Fertility problems? All you need is a good fisting.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Ravers, Aug 21, 2013.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    The Kadir-Buxton Method - The K-B Fertility Treatment

    Anyone read this bloke's website?

    He is officially my new favourite internet lunatic. It looks like an elaborate wind up, however I believe this chap genuinely thinks he is the real deal.

    If you have any mental or physical ailments, he can solve them with either a quick punch to the ear or a gentle fisting. Likewise if you're dead, he can bring you back to life by drop kicking you in the chest.

    Check out his CV, it had me in stitches:

    The Kadir-Buxton Method - Curriculum Vitae

    Among many other brilliant achievements, he invented bottle banks and the designed the Labour party logo.
     
    • Like Like x 4
  2. Ravers, fucking thank you for finding this! Quite made my day.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  3. £20 to Hols4Heroes if you can get that on "The Site That Must Not Be Mentioned".
     
    • Like Like x 4
  4. Another £20 if you can explain to me how lesbian students get lemonade on their tubes. Just, you know, thought you might have some gen...
     
  5. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    I can think of a few posters on here who might benefit from a quick double hook to the ears.
     
  6. I was eating peanuts when i clicked on the mental cases website. I laughed so hard at some of his exploits i now have a peanut stuck up my nose. Cnuts.
     
  7. That website is quite frankly awesome. But seriously, what sort of wierd shit were you looking for to stumble across that??
     
  8. fixed gratis
     
  9. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    It is possible to get bored of wanking to conventional porn. I pity those who have to find out the hard way like I did.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  10. Overcoming troublesome or irregular periods can lead to the necessity of having a D and C, sometimes repeatedly. D and C stands for "dilatation and curettage". Dilatation means gently stretching up the opening in the neck of the womb with special instruments. Curettage means passing a special scraping instrument through the opening into the body of the womb. This takes place under general anaesthetic and the patient will be unconscious for the operation. The poorer a country is the less likely it is for women to be able to have the procedure. However, I have a low tech procedure that can give many women hope.

    I have found that while love making, if the woman's back is scratched in a pleasurable way at the same time, then during orgasm the lining of the womb is shed. Women who have had to have repeated D and Cs who use this new method once a month find that the most number of times that the method has to be repeated is three. And it is not intrusive. This artificial shedding of the womb lining appears to get troublesome periods back to normality. What is interesting is that because the lining of the womb is shed when this back scratching takes place we have a low tech and free form of contraception if carried out once every cycle. It works in a similar way to the coil method of contraception. While the number of women who have tried this method of contraception is low I would like to see it trialed. The population explosion needs a free and easy form of contraception and this could be it.

    This method should not be used if you want to remain pregnant.


    What a legend!
     
  11. Lemonade I can just about imagine, but pen tops or ball bearings? Does this bloke have any clue about anatomy at all?!


    *Disclaimer: as I am using phone, I have not read link.
     
  12. Labour party Logo is nothing, he won the cold war single handedly!



    And he was me thinking it was Chuck Norris that won it!
     
    • Like Like x 1
  13. I think you'll find that the peanut can be removed by a quick fisting.
     
    • Like Like x 3
  14. His dieting advice bears thinking about?
    To melt ice needs calories. Therefore if you eat ice your body will use calories.
     
  15. FrosteeMARIA

    FrosteeMARIA LE Gallery Guru

    I can see "Love Potion No 10" just flying off the shelves.

    This has to be the best bat-shittery ever.