Female specification

#1
just a thought....

was lookin at another thread today and it occured to me that I should compile a female specification. It should cover all aspects...

1. genuine females from birth only, strickly no transgenders....
2. language is not an issue, as long as she can understand hand signals

you got the idea...
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#3
And is not at all fussy or choosy. I always hope for desperate, blind and insane too.
 
#4
As in one of my posts on another thred

The chosen one my have/be:

Female (Not fussy, as long it's a female socket, not a male)
Pulse (theirs not mine)
Err. . . Thats' it

I used to have a stipulation that I would have to able to clasp my hands around said chosen one in an embrace, but nearing 40, I decided that it would make me too fussy.
 
#5
Must be able to fit through a gap no wider than a standard door frame.
Preferably chest must come further forward than gut.
Strictly no Man U fans
 
#7
must have identical nympho twin sister willing to share
 
#8
For all you "not fussy" types, here's a warning/reminder of the pitfalls of that approach:

WOMENS PERSONAL ADS GUIDE (THE REAL MEANINGS)

40ish - 49
Adventurous - Slept with everyone
Athletic - No tits
Average looking - Ugly
Beautiful - Pathological liar
Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure - On medication
Feminist - Fat
Free spirit - Junkie
Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person
Fun - Annoying
New Age - Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded - Desperate
Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate - Sloppy drunk
Professional - Bitch
Voluptuous - Very Fat
Large frame - Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate - Stalker

(Better add that I nicked it off Knocker.)
Baldrick66 said:
The Arrse guide to online dating?

1. Bubbly personality............ Fat cow.
2. Tactile........... Clingy
3. Loving.............. Emotional wreck, needy, cries a lot.
4. Sensual ...........Slapper
5. seeks long term relationship.......... seeks sex
6. Looking for Mr Right........ Shagged most of Aldershot, and looking for some sucker to put a roof over her head.
7. Divorcee........... Psycho nymph.
8. Widow..................Murderer
9. looking for love............. looking for bum love
10. Separated............married and looking for extras
11. single........... married
12. looks young for age..........dresses like a hooker.
13. seeks gentleman .........get your wallet out.Adventurous............Slept with all your mates
14. 40-ish............49
15. Athletic............No tits
16. Average looking........Face like an arse
17. Beautiful............Pathological liar
18. Contagious smile........Does a lot of pills
19. Educated............Was screwed to bits at university
20. Emotionally secure......On medication
21. Feminist............Fat
22. Free spirit............Junkie
23. Friendship first.........Former slut
24. Fun.................Annoying
25. Gentle.................Dull
26. Good listener..........Autistic
27. New age................Body hair problems
28. Old fashioned..........No BJ's or anal
29. Open minded............Desperate
30. Outgoing...............Loud and very embarrassing
31. Passionate.............Sloppy drunk
32. Poet...................Depressive
33. Professional............Bitch
34. Romantic...............Frigid
35. Social.................Crotch like a wizard's sleeve
36. Voluptuous.............Very fat
37. Large lady.............Immensely fat
38. Wants soul mate.........Stalker
 
#9
Life Extinct.
 

BrunoNoMedals

LE
Kit Reviewer
#11
Weive got four majors and a WO1 working as requirements managers. You should get one of them to draft it up and run JSP101 over it :)
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#12
Gets to the clinic every so often for a clean-out.
 
#13
BrunoNoMedals said:
Weive got four majors and a WO1 working as requirements managers. You should get one of them to draft it up and run JSP101 over it :)
JSP101 Version: Available.

Anything else would be too expensive.
 
#14
Prefers Subway to Gourmet scran,

Enjoys sharing a pit with me and 2 Jack Russell Terriers,

Thinks Vic and Bob was funny once,

Really, Really enjoys my war stories !
 
#15
Deaf and dumb nymphomaniac, with a Dad who owns a Brewery.
 

BrunoNoMedals

LE
Kit Reviewer
#16
Idrach said:
BrunoNoMedals said:
Weive got four majors and a WO1 working as requirements managers. You should get one of them to draft it up and run JSP101 over it :)
JSP101 Version: Available.

Anything else would be too expensive... too complex and likely end up with you getting a hamster.
You missed a bit.
 
#17
BrunoNoMedals said:
Idrach said:
JSP101 Version: Available.

Anything else would be too expensive... too complex and likely end up with you getting a hamster.
You missed a bit.
But does the hamster meet the basic requirements of the specification?
 

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