Female Bullshitters? Have I discovered a new genus?

#1
New lass where I work. It’s attractive, educated, clever, talented and succesful. However, if I’m thinking of buying a Harley then she’s ‘getting’ a new Aston. My mate’s going business class to NY - she goes 1st. All arrant Elevenerife nonsense of the first order. So, my colleague and I plan to encourage this unit into new heights of fantasy on a scale of 1 to 5.

i. Normal behaviour
ii. Mild exageration to the order of, “I’ve got 12 pairs of Manolos now”
iii. Huge exageration. “I saw that sex and the City?” “Oh, really? Yeah, Sarah’s a great girl but when she stays at mine she always gets really drunk”
iv. Crazed. “My grandad was Edward VIII” (It’s a Kiwi by the way)
v. Close to insanity. “I am Edward VIII”

So far we’re at level 3 and counting. Future topice will include holidays, celebrity chums, houses etc.

Are there other tales of female bullshitters? I think we should be told.
 
#2
I met a girl once whom assured me that she didn't have a boyfriend.

The next day i went to bed with a sore nose and a back eye :(
 
#3
I know someone who is uglier than Jade Goody, aged 14/15, claims she has shagged Leon Jackson (the chipmunk who one X Factor a couple of years back, says her dad repairs ferarri's when he fixes washing machines, and says she has about 9 top quality, ascot racing horses when in fact she has one flea ridden pony :roll: She's going to be the walt of all walts when she grows up, inherits it from her dad I reckon who claims he made Captain when I know for a fact he got a disonorable discharge in 1984 for theiving from his boss... he really was a cnut...
 

BrunoNoMedals

LE
Kit Reviewer
#4
My housemate's like that. Everything is better (or worse, if God forbid you think you've had something bad).

I got a few reports back on the house I'm buying yester. She tells me her mum just spunked £250k on a new farmhouse, bought outright in a week. Some random (and probably blind and stupid) person bought her flowers on Valentine's Day. I spent the next three days listening to her wondering who it might be. Personally I reckon she did it herself, to rub in everyone's faces. I could go on for another three pages about her obscene one-upmanship but I'd just stress myself out.

She's a good cook, though, so I'll put up with it.
 
#7
I think that what you have here is what Dilbert calls a "topper" - someone who has to go one better (or worse) in response to a statement made by someone else.
 
#8
Yep, some people are like that. They're so wrapped up in their own ego, they simply can't stand the fact that you've done something more interesting than them and they either have to go one better or imply you're a liar.

Just be glad she's the former type, the mud slingers can be a real pain in the arse. :x
 
#9
Uncivil_Servant said:
I think that what you have here is what Dilbert calls a "topper" - someone who has to go one better (or worse) in response to a statement made by someone else.
In the novel about the Falklands War "Rainbow Soldiers" there was a Coporal in it known as "Two Sh1ts". This came from his habit of always trying to go one better that everyone else so then theoretically if you said that you'd just had a sh!t he'd say ..........
 
#10
The other term for these people are "Elevan-arifers", as in "I went on holiday to Tenerife" "well I just came back from Elevanarife".... 8O
 
#11
spike7451 said:
Tell her you know that bloke off "The Apprenice" AKA LBdr Pigshagger.
I know that spike7451 off ARRSE.

Honest. He's f*cked my Mum and everything*






























*Some or all of the above may not be true.
 
#12
fluffer said:
I met a girl once whom assured me that she didn't have a boyfriend.

The next day i went to bed with a sore nose and a back eye :(
You shagged his mrs, so he shagged you.... seems fair.
 
#13
LBdr_Pigshagger said:
spike7451 said:
Tell her you know that bloke off "The Apprenice" AKA LBdr Pigshagger.
I know that spike7451 off ARRSE.

Honest. He's f*cked my Mum and everything*






























*Some or all of the above may not be true.
Well you did my Gran!


Oh,she wants her teeth back. :p
 
#14
JWRRC318 said:
btw fluffer I really really don't like your avatar... can you not imagine how cringey that'd be having a snail crawl up your tit... eurgh! :p Makes me shudder everytime I glance at it!
That's my tit...
 
#15
Tell her about the time you had crabs. I'm sure that could make for an entertaining lunch hour.
 
#16
dropshortjock said:
The other term for these people are "Elevan-arifers", as in "I went on holiday to Tenerife" "well I just came back from Elevanarife".... 8O
I think I've heard of that one before... ah yes thats it, the opening paragraph of this thread. ;)
 
#17
Well, I recall a mate who had this happen to him...

Corporation in Sheffield. Massive problem with underages getting into the club. Now, my mate, let's call him... Mack, for his safety, and for mine, gets talking to a nice looking lass.

Mack: "Right, do you have ID, as I know there's underage lasses who get in here?"
Lass: "Yeah, yeah, I'm 18, I'm 18, look, here's my ID."
Mack: "Hmm, fair enough then."

Ends up banging her in the lavvies. Turns out, she was 13, using her sister's ID.

Now, if that isn't a severe case of bullshiititus, I don't know what is.
 
#18
skintboymike said:
dropshortjock said:
The other term for these people are "Elevan-arifers", as in "I went on holiday to Tenerife" "well I just came back from Elevanarife".... 8O
I think I've heard of that one before... ah yes thats it, the opening paragraph of this thread. ;)
Good point, well made. :x Must pay more attention to opening paragraph...
 
#19
fluffer said:
JWRRC318 said:
btw fluffer I really really don't like your avatar... can you not imagine how cringey that'd be having a snail crawl up your tit... eurgh! :p Makes me shudder everytime I glance at it!
That's my tit...
But it's not this Snail 8)
 

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