Feline sex

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by stoatman, May 26, 2005.

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  1. One of my female cats (the white one) has recently come into heat for the first time, much to the consternation of the other equally female (brown) cat. Brown cat just can't understand why white cat presents her snatch and howls instead of playing wrestling games - I think that white cat might actually be a lesbo, or at least bi (like all women should be :D). Brown cat's having none of this, let alone any kitty clamjousting action. But if some does occur, I'll endevour to take some pictures for the "specialist" connaisseurs who frequent these hallowed pages.

    The mad scientist in me (picture wild grey hair, big glasses, 100,000 volts and a manic grin) wants to play god, as usual. I thus wish to create a hybrid twixt mong and cat. It will be thus endowed with superpowers such as the ability to climb the stairs upside down, sit in windows licking them, it'll MEELAAR to signal danger, and sh1t in a tray. I think it would go down well on the executive pet / sex slave market, particularly in Japan, cos god knows they'll shoot their fat over anything that resembles both human and animal.

    What I'm looking for is somebody to provide a mong - marginal mongs who post on this site could provide themselves, I'll provide the "Liquid Glide". This is not so much just an option to shag a cat (you can do that almost anywhere, although this is an exeptionally pretty cat), but a great business opportunity. For the supply of your DNA you'll become part of the next big thing in the executive pet / sex slave market. What an opportunity! Has anyone else today offered you such an attractive proposal?

    We all know from South Park that pig and elepant DNA just won't splice, but will mong and cat?

    Apply to the Stoaty and Herr Dok Genetic Engineering ranch to find out!
  2. Stoaty, I am proud of you.
    My young apprentice has finally produced an experiment almost as good as mine!
    My earlier experiments have failed (there's something pink and wobbly going mllaaaaaaaaaaaaaarr in my cellar), but with the power of Stoat, we will succeed...
  3. If i may be so bold. A hybrid of Yannie and Mooch should mix nicely with a feline but that much mong power combined may be dangerous!!!! 8O
  4. I was woken last night by the manic howls of my little girl-cat. She's on heat for the 2nd time & I'd forgotten how bloody loudly she mewls! Poor bollockless boy-cat is thoroughly bemused... :lol:
  5. Hi Stoaty. Two things:-

    Firstly. We have a "Trolly Mong" at the entrance to our local supermarket here in the Merseyside equivalent of Royston Vasey - ideal candidate - I will ask him to send you a sample. In the event he puts a letter in with his sample don't worry it will only say "D'ya want a trolley or a bashket?"

    Secondly. Stop assuming that all of us are bi - as I said to my friend Donna in bed last night "Up a bit, oh yeah, like that, aaah aaah aaah, Oh Donna I love it, No Donna, of course we are not outright lezzers"
  6. I am not sure of the details of breeding mong/cat hybrids; however I can vouch that it is theoretically possible to breed a Downs Syndrome mong and a Gorilla, on account of both species having the same number of chromosomes.

    I have recently spent quite some considerable time touring the zoos of the South West of England with a mong in a cage. Sadly I have yet to find a zoo willing to loan me a gorilla.

    If anyone knows of a spare gorilla or mong please let me know, this could bring me and my mongrilla fame and frotune.

    Yours in Dr. Moreau

    Mrs Beaton
  7. [marq=left]Yannie[/marq]

    if you are not capable of contributing to the naafi, i will just continue to delete yours and any others posts that tries to ruin what the NAAFI is about
  8. RTFQ


    Surely, if you're going to mate a mongaloid and a feline, you're going to need a mong fluffer? Not even Billy 'Put it away' Gregson who sits on his own on seat 3c of the sunshine bus (ever since he showed 'Silent' Babs his special lollipop) would get mahogany looking at a screaming cat. Are you going to don the latex gloves and shuffle him to woodsville? Are there any suggestions on who could act as a 'tard w,anker? Bagsey not me.
  9. A curtain, a hole, a pussy's pussy and a picture of Mo Mowlam should do it for your average chromosomally challenged individual.
    Just break the feline's jaw so it can't howl and give it all away.
  10. It's a mirror Dok :lol: :roll:
  11. Well, this cat can be quite insistant, so I was going to suggest lubeing the mong up nicely, telling it to pinch the scruff of kitty's neck, and letting kitty do the rest.

    In other words, let kitty rape the mong :twisted: