Faye Turney.. Would you kiss and tell?

Would you admit to doing the loathsome drab?

  • Yes for £100'000.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • NO! NO! NO! Not for all the money in the world.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • I'm a mortarman and proud of doing her.

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    0
#1
Imagine the scene... Following an evening of alcohol fuelled debauchery you wake up with that oh so familiar thought of "What the f*ck was I drinking last night?"

A body moves under the quilt, you have a vague recollection of scoring with Kylie in the wee small hours of the morning.

Amazed at your own sexual prowess you pull back the quilt to expose the sex kitten you have trapped.

You recoil in horror as you discover you have in fact inadvertently shagged Faye Turney..

The question is... do you do a kiss and tell to the tabloids for a vast sum of money... or do you gnaw off your arm at the shoulder and make your escape?
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#2
Oh, that's an easy one. Actually, there are several choices, one of which is to make a swift call to Japanese embassy, to Naval attache, and notify location of said lady for whaling fleet to find. Then, claim finders fee. And, after that, then contact tabloids. Give them the full story, complete with any recordings you may have made ( what? Do you not all record every moment spent with a woman? Bugger, best way to avoid lawsuits and all awkward questions about consent). Recordings can then be backed up with photos taken on phone camera, or if time not a problem, a video cam. If she is still drunk and sprawled, then pics can be sold to 'Big Munters Monthly' or, 'Festering Fanny ' magazine.
Loads of money to roll in.
 
#7
Fugly said:
I'd pump her full of Rohypnol again, and put her on a plane BACK to Tehran.
more like an underslung load !!!!
 
#9
He's more likely to be on rum-ration. Unless its the Matelot. I know he's a sick one but even thats to far, surely.
 
#10
The_Cad said:
Imagine the scene... Following an evening of alcohol fuelled debauchery you wake up with that oh so familiar thought of "What the f*ck was I drinking last night?"

A body moves under the quilt, you have a vague recollection of scoring with Kylie in the wee small hours of the morning.

Amazed at your own sexual prowess you pull back the quilt to expose the sex kitten you have trapped.

You recoil in horror as you discover you have in fact inadvertently shagged Faye Turney..

The question is... do you do a kiss and tell to the tabloids for a vast sum of money... or do you gnaw off your arm at the shoulder and make your escape?
Rumour has it you've done larger and less well known and gone back for seconds too...... :wink:
 
#11
I would and then use the money to book myself into the priory clinic to ensure I never drink again and therefore there will be no repeat of this, some money would also be used to pay for a hypnotheropist to remove the memory for life.
 
#12
I would use the money to hire a contract killer to ensure her silence.

We must never speak of this again...
 
#13
I would, but the only way I can get my rocks off is if I tie the wench to a chair, beat her up a bit, tell her things she doesn't want to hear about her children, beat her up a bit more, and then get to it.

The only problem is she'll just write another book/winge to Sir Trevor McDoughnut and we'd have to endure her face again.
 
#14
Not if you kill her.
 
#16
FaceLikeAPingPongBall said:
The_Cad said:
Imagine the scene... Following an evening of alcohol fuelled debauchery you wake up with that oh so familiar thought of "What the f*ck was I drinking last night?"

A body moves under the quilt, you have a vague recollection of scoring with Kylie in the wee small hours of the morning.

Amazed at your own sexual prowess you pull back the quilt to expose the sex kitten you have trapped.

You recoil in horror as you discover you have in fact inadvertently shagged Faye Turney..

The question is... do you do a kiss and tell to the tabloids for a vast sum of money... or do you gnaw off your arm at the shoulder and make your escape?
Rumour has it you've done larger and less well known and gone back for seconds too...... :wink:
What do you mean rumour!! The Cad sent me a picture of this Little Minx, stating real men will only shag babes like this:
 

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