Favourite comments from the drill square

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Slightly_Nasty, Sep 26, 2009.

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  1. The scathing wit of drill instructors is legendary; dripping with scorn, guaranteed to humiliate, yet funny enough to give everyone else in the squad a laugh too. The best are the ones that can do all that without even swearing, but that shouldn't stop foul language from being included here. This is, after all, the NAAFI bar.

    My own favourite is "[insert name here], why are you looking down? There is no money there, I have already checked!"

    or [as recounted by Patrick Litchfield to Michael Parkinson when discussing the Sultan of Brunei's time at Sandhurst]

    "Stand still, you 'orrible little monarch, you!"

    Any more offers?
  2. "You make me so angry, I just want to go home and beat my wife"

    CSgt, SG, Sandhurst 2002.

    "The fate of my girlfriend's orgasm rests in your hands. If you get this drill movement right, I get to go home and give her one."
    CSM, probably about three days later.
  3. "If you fidget one more time, I'll stick this pace stick through your head and ride you around camp like a f ucking moped"
  4. Pte Roc***l you are the camp tramp you would look scruffy in the nude!
  5. Dismiss!
  6. Mr XXXXX Do you have a Hard-on?

    No Staff!

    Well you should have Mr XXXXX because you are standing next to the biggest C*nt in the British Army.....

    RMAS circa '86.
  7. RMAS again.

    Irish Gds Adjt on pass out rehearsal. "Sgt Major that man's moving"

    Gren Gds CSM. "This one Sir?"

    Adjt: "No, not him, the other one"

    CSM: "This one Sir?"

    Adjt: "No not him, Oh he'll do. Lock him away!"
  8. rip them arms away like your ripping a rapist off your sister always gave me a chuckle
  9. If I see those arms move again.... I'll rip them off and batter you to death with the soggy ends!!

    Boy did we chuckle


    Happy days


  10. CSM "you're an ex engineer aren't you pvt *****?"
    PVT "yes sir"
    CSM "i can tell by the way march, stop it!"
  11. "YOU, double away to the nick , and tell them to lock you up for being a wanker !"
  12. "CJ you fcuking retard get off my square"

    (Please find CJ sat on a bench outside the Naafi)
  13. Negligent-Discharge

    Negligent-Discharge LE Book Reviewer

    Retiring RSM somewhere in Norfolk. We're doing Sunday Parade... probably still p*ssed from the previous night's Mess lunacy. Said RSM is hiding in the Biffa Bins and shouting eyes right/left/about turn etc. Total confusion... feckin great laugh though as some Lord Lt. bird was taking the salute.
  14. passed on so could be rumour.


    'If you move again I will insert this pace stick up your nose and flick you over the college'
  15. Supposedly from the RMAS (but I couldn't possibly comment)

    "Dig those heels in you ginger F*cker and I don't care who your dad is!"